Having a hard time 14 months into recovery. It was never that hard for me once I made the decision to give up the lifestyle. But 4 months ago I started a new journey in my recovery by moving back to Nashville and starting a new job in a position I love. Around the same time I started seeing a girl and things have been on the up and up since. I started to develope feelings for another person for the first time in many years and I thought we were on the same page with everything. Everything felt right. She recently broke things off and I started feeling down. Thoughts of drinking/using came back and I started remembering why I was an alcoholic/addict. I wanted to feel different than the way I was feeling. And I want to feel different now. It's hard to reach out to the few people I'm close with because I feel like they're tired of hearing about it. So I'm putting it here because it helps to talk about it.
Feeling alone is not is not a road well traveled for alot of people and it's easy to get mired up in self doubt and have a desire to feed our addiction.
So reach out and know that everything thing that happens is a learning process and there is a better relationship that was meant for you.
So have patience, pray and talk it out it will pass better with a clear head. And by feeding our addiction we will not see the light.
There is something I learned from an A.A. friend of mine a long time ago and it works for me if I follow a simple suggestion wich is if I feel a need to use sit down with some Ben and Jerry's some cookies or cake. Lately I have woke up with a Oreo hangover wich is better than having regrets and feeling disappointment in myself.
So stay positive and keep the faith that the best is yet to come!
Oh dam can I relate. My ex gf who I started dating at about 7 months left me right around a year sober. It took time. It took journaling. It took talking with friends and my sponsor and her to be honest.
I did not want it to end but I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want me. So drinking wouldn’t have fixed anything. So day by day I stayed in the moment. I stayed sober. Life on life’s terms.
14 months! That is amazing! Think of all the growth you have had over that time. You are a rockstar. No one has ever said getting sober is easy but you need to reflect on all that work and give yourself a pat on the back. Then get back to doing the work 
go to a meeting or multiple meetings, call your sponsor or sober network, 10 step, eat ice cream, and think about how you took the opportunity to reach out on here instead of just going to have that drink. My man! I’m proud of you, Jacob! God bless!
On the same page on linking break ups and alcohol. I'm pushing myself to say "yes" to going out to social events, calling my family for no reason, going to the gym or just even hiking - anything that doesn't allow me to sit on the couch too long and avoid any areas of triggers (bars, kitchen) so I can fill the void of overthought in my mind to not feel too much sadness or replay the history. I'm pushing myself to be in situations where I can laugh out loud more. Hopefully this helps!