Having A Hard Time

Recovery
#1

When do you say enough is enough when it comes to helping a friend?

Tonight, after my meeting, my homie and I went to a friend's apartment to clean it up. For the 3rd time. After a crack bender. Filthy. Gross. Things I'll never be able to unsee. The guy is an awesome human. He's broken, just like a lot of us. He's currently in the hospital (was picked up by ems on Thanksgiving, and has been there ever since. He's not been lucid since being admitted. No family. Nothing. When I saw him in the hospital a couple days ago, my legs felt weak from pity and sadness. He was fumbling with a fork and didn't know what planet he was on. This is the 4th relapse this year. Every time it gets worse. He might not even come out of this without some real permanent damage. He's diabetic and eats like shït. He's medicated and takes his meds not according to the docs orders including gabapentin.

When do you tap out? Ever? Never?

My sobriety is good, but emotionally, this is really fücking with me.

Goddamnit

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#2

My heart to you and to your friend. That’s really goddam hard. I had a similar experience with someone I loved. I’m sorry you’re going through it. :purple_heart:

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#3

When it jeopardizes your own well being to a point that is beyond your comfort, I guess. That is tough. Unfortunately we can want something for someone all day long but until they want it more than they want to get high or feel numb, forget, be free of pain, whatever the case may be, all of the concern in the world, interventions, pep talks, etc, may all be for not.

I wish there were a simple answer. I hope that your friend is able to fully recover and can come to understand that when they hurt themselves, the pain doesn't just stop with them. When they heal, the healing isn't necessarily complete. This serves as a great reminder that while we enjoy what lot or little we do, when we do, there is always someone suffering. When. we suffer, there is always someone who has it "worse."

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#5

That’s such a hard one…I’m a genuinely compassionate person, I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, help them see their worth, lift them and encourage them. Serving people is one of my greatest joys….however, it can be one of my greatest burdens if I invest my energy wrong. I will try to carry their burdens if I’m not emotionally in check and balanced.
I like how someone above mentioned it may not be hurting your sobriety, but is it hurting your health. You made this post because at the core you know the answer for yourself is that you probably need to take a break.
The important thing is remembering that taking a break does NOT mean you wish him harm, that you want his sobriety to fail, that you think he is a failure, that you’ve stopped believing in him. It means that your involvement is not currently nurturing him and maybe even his sobriety journey.
I think sometimes we forget that we can take a break from someone and wish nothing but the most incredible things for them.
Good luck navigating this situation.

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