Having a rough morning mentally. Got into an explosive fight with this toxic guy I’ve been talking to, I tried to apologize and he continued to let me know every reason why I’m “so screwed up” and then ended our relationship over text. He then went out with another girl and posted pictures of them kissing, knowing I would see it. I’m feeling crushed inside. Completely defeated, disposable, too crazy or flawed to be loved by someone. I’m so upset and anxious I’m physically ill. Not sure how to make it through today without relapsing. If anyone has any kind words, I’d appreciate a little bit of support today while I try to work through this please.
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He sounds like a douche
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Hi Hailey, sounds to me like he's the problem. I know it's easier said than done, but if I were in your shoes I would do everything I can to let him go and move on. We all have flaws, but we all deserve love and respect. Tell yourself "I am worthy of love and respect" and keep saying it. Don't be hard on yourself, you are not to blame. I meditate when I feel like that and I let go of any guilt and shame I find myself attached to. You can get through this without self medicating, trust yourself enough to keep moving in the right direction and away from him and you'll be better off. 
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Thank you for the encouragement and reassurance. It means more than you know. I am worthy of love and respect and so are you! Thank you for sharing
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You are loved. I'm not sure who's at fault (it's not my business)- but if he kissed another girl that soon he has the issue in that. He's either using her by making you jealous or he can't be committed. That doesn't mean you're unlovable.
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Thank you. I was trying to express how I was feeling and I didn’t choose the right words I guess so he exploded on me. I think he was trying to make me jealous for sure, and he also can’t be committed to anyone. Told me he had a gf for 6 years and cheated on her everyday. He’s a huge red flag. It Just dug deep when he put me down, it really made me question myself and why we can never communicate effectively together.. thank you for your support and for taking the time out of your day to answer me. Means a lot
Right on
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What other people say, do, or think is beyond our control and really none of our concern unless we allow it to become so.
That being said, you could forget about him and everything else that isn’t sobriety. They suggest a year. I say definitely for today. And probably tomorrow too. But you can always reassess things.
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If he posted pictures of himself kissing another girl so soon he must be trying to get a reaction from you. Don’t let him ruin your day or your sobriety. Stay off of social media for a while or block homeboy. He would be the last thing on my mind right now. Brush it off and get back to doing you.
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Anytime!
Ok thank you for your perspective.
Thank you, really appreciate your encouragement. It means a lot
It’s shitty that he posted those pics for sure, but I think you got lucky that he broke it off. It will save you a lot of pain in the future.
Ain’t no man can tell you you’re not loveable! And don’t let this little boy be the reason you relapse… not a good enough reason.
Let him go, let him go:musical_note:
Toxic people whether they are romantic partners or family, they hinder your recovery and will trigger you to use again, whatever your doc is