Having my life still

Daily Gratitude
#1

I relapsed a few days ago. I'm so lucky I'm still alive. I know what I need to do. It's so hard to do without anyone on your side. No friends or family where I live. Fighting this battle alone scares me. I'm scared I'll never bet it! I have lost my boy's trust and if I don't quit I'll lose my daughter as well. And she has been my rock.

They deserve so much more than this. And I keep asking myself, do I? Is this how I'll live the rest of my life? I want so much more. Sober friends, my degree in Psychology, have a job that means something and I want someone who is clean and only wants to be with one person.

I feel lost, and hopeless. But I know I can do it. I was 6 months clean in this picture.

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3 Likes
#3

Thank you

#4

You are not alone

1 Like
#5

You can and will do better

#6

Crazy thing is, kids can be pretty forgiving. It takes time. Especially when we break that trust repeatedly. After hitting what I consider my rock hottom I thought my kids would take far longer than they actually did. There is still some apprehension probably but I don't see it. I chose to see the growth.

It seems you have a whole lot to be grateful for and have made tremendous progress in the past. I'm not going to "meeting" you over the head by any means but there is something to those meetings. People keep coming back 10-20 yrs layer for more reasons than I can ever recognize.

Our kids DO deserve so much more and honestly, so do we. You got this Jen and if you ever need an ear feel free to reach out. You're not alone in this unless you chose to be.