I've got a little over 500 days clean and sober. There are a lot of changes happening and they are good. But, even so, I did something unhealthy today. My last relapse caused several people to withdraw from my life, including my ex girlfriend. We haven't had 2 way communication in over a year. From time to time I still reach out even though she has asked me not to. I feel like a total sh*t afterwards bc I know I have disrespected her boundaries... And I've disrespected myself. I'm so tired of making this mistake... And rehashing the relationship in my head. It makes me feel pathetic and sad. I'd hoped a thorough steps 4 - 9 would help... But I still struggle everyday with this.
