Hello as I near my 9th year here the struggle

Hello as I near my 9th year here the struggle keeps getting worse in the last year I have lost a cousin due to overdose alcohol and drugs, 2 friends who lost the battle and committed suicide and the hardest one the passing of my mom at a young age of 99 1 week shy of 100.
All this with limited resources with AA meetings all closed or very limited meetings zoom just dosen't cut it for me .

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Hi David. You've endured quite a bit of hurt in the last year or so. It's normal to look for something to comfort us.

Though you need comfort alcohol isn't the answer. Do you have someone you can talk to about your emotions? A coworker, friend, or neighbor? You can continue speaking with us, too-but I also want to ensure that you're receiving help exactly when you need it.

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Hi David: I'm terribly sorry for your loss (es). And yes, many feel that meetings on Zoom are not "real meetings," but it's all that we have right now. I'm in New York and I've witnessed those who have come into recovery during the pandemic and gotten clean and are staying clean without ever going to a face-to-face meeting. Maybe try going to some Zoom meetings outside of your area? I've been to Zoom meetings in India, the Philippines, the UK, Paris, etc during these times. I've actually broadened the base of my recovery as a result. Keep your chin up, friend. Thanks.

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This will pass for sure. I know it's tough, I am in early sobriety. But you have built that muscle to silence these inner demons. Please pray and talk to someone

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I’m not worthy of giving you any advice David, other then how tremendously proud I am of what you have accomplished and been through. Hang in there please and don’t be a stranger! I too grew up in Michigan, wonderful memories! Stay strong

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"This too (pain, challenges, meltdowns, anxiety, etc... shall pass"
9 years... wow!! You r an INSPIRATION to many of us!! What r the things that helped u stay sober in the past...?? Maybe it would help to think of some of those moments that helped u through the tough times.

It’s a day at a a time : reset back to basics ! Serenity prayer ! You got this

It is never easy to lose someone you care about. It doesn't matter if it is through death or just departure from one another. Find someone to talk to. Our DOC is never going to fill the void they left. Our heart may heal but the scar remains. Best we can do is keep moving.