Hello everyone, I have been sober for about 2 years. I have two cousins who are alcoholics and I’ve been trying to figure out a way to help them on their recovery journey. They have both expressed the desire to stop drinking but they are not motivated enough to do anything about it. I have suggested AA groups online, going to therapy, getting a sponsor, etc. or downloading apps like this one. They are brothers, live together and have a codependent drinking relationship (if one gets drunk, the other will follow) One of them has tried to stop and has successfully stopped for 3 weeks and then he will relapse. The other one has expressed feeling the need to drink when he’s bored or because it’s “fun”. Neither of them want to acknowledge the deeper reasons behind why they drink so much. I know you can’t lead a horse to water….and from my own experience getting sober, I’ve learned that once your health is really at risk, you are forced to stop whether you want to or not. But I really don’t want that for them. I’m worried that they will do major damage to their bodies and reach a point of no return? Any advice you have on how to help a loved one, or what helped you take that first step that I can share with them… thank you. God bless.
We each have to find our own bottom. For some that is death. It’s the sad truth. I can’t make a person want to be sober. My sponsor and other old timers taught me that my job is to be there when they are ready, but I can’t talk them into being ready. For most of us it takes every bump, bruise, jail time, hospital stay to get here. I needed to try every other method and fail before I found my way to AA, as well. When I was ready, the fellowship was there eagerly waiting for me. Just keep offering the help and when/if they are ready, you will be there waiting for them.
Thank you Shawn. I am also a recovering people pleaser so I have to remind myself that I gotta step back and let them figure it out. It’s not my job to fix them. It’s theirs. It’s just so hard tho, because now that im on this side of the grass, it is much greener and I wish they could see that.
Right?
Now that we can look back and see how f-ed our thinking was…we don’t know what we don’t know though. Just pray that they will come around and ask for help. Then you’ll be ready, for your part.
Show them you are a example of a better life.do not push them.they may push you a way .and be mad at you.be safe.!!!!!.good job on 2 years.