Hello everyone! I’m new to the app and wanted to introduce myself. I have about 100 days sober . I did have 5 years clean and sober over 10 years ago but it’s been a long journey to come back . I am currently doing great in my recovery but my boyfriend (now basically my ex) just relapsed on herion. I have been dealing with his addiction for two years . He will get clean for like 3 months then relapse . I am sick of being his babysitter but he normally overdoses and I am always so scared of him dying. I know I have no control over his addiction and I can’t stop it but there have been times where if I didn’t get him to treatment he would have never made it. Anyways he relapsed a couple days ago . It did get bad until I found out yesterday because yesterday he used herion and when he uses it he is completely out of his mind . I told him he is no longer welcome at my apartment . He has been staying with me for a couple months but has been telling me for weeks he would get into sober living . That was the original deal after all the chaos I’ve been through with him . Anyways last night he stumbled on my door step mumbling and vomiting all over the place. I also work for the apartment I live in. I told him to leave and go to the hospital (I live in Philly the hospital is down the street) something told me to go back outside and he was face first on the concrete. I called an ambulance and they took him to the hospital. Welll he just got released because he just showed up again and passed out on the bed . His family and I hadn’t heard from him all day and the hospital said he wasn’t there so we thought he was dead. Long story short he is passed out now. I found herion in his pocket and I know he will wake up looking for it . I will not give it to him . Withdrawal will not kill him herion will. He’s going to freak out and say he will go to treatment but he is sick and needs it now. Then I will become his babysitter again until I get him help. I can’t do this another day. My plan is to not give it to him (if he wants it so bad instead of going to treatment he can go find it) and to tell him to get help asap. There is a process of calling places , etc and he has Medicaid (no private insurance ) so it can be difficult. My point is I shouldn’t give it to him correct ? If he’s sick he’s sick - he just needs to get into a place it’s not my responsibility to take his withdrawals away . He is not a normal user who just nods out - he becomes a lunatic .
Sorry I am writing about things other then alcohol I just feel like I’m losing my mind - I know there are other programs for this situation just didn’t know if anyone had any advice - thank you
My other point is if I don’t give it to him he may go find it elsewhere again- I think I’m answering my own question here - if he wants help he will get it if not he won’t
Gaudenzia
They treat hardcore addicts like him. You need to get away from that situation period. Can’t fix him.
You’re right thank you so much. I too have put people through this. So sick of being scared of him dying . It’s taking a toll on me and I recognize I need to concentrate on me. Thanks Nathan!
Thanks I will definitely look into Gaudenzia thank you !
Welcome so glad you’re here!
You need to worry about yourself your recovery is more important you have to keep your recovery first keep coming back
I do not envy you. Boundaries must be set and enforced. Your sobriety comes before his needs. Codependency is overwhelming. It’s not your job to do any of the things you’re doing. If he’s clean or not clean, he is hindering your recovery. Anything you put before your recovery you are guaranteed to lose. You can’t help anyone else until you’ve helped yourself. Protecting yourself makes us feel guilty. Taking care of someone “sicker” than yourself makes you feel like maybe you’re problems aren’t that bad.
Clean break. You can love someone and at the same time need to completely cut them out of your life. And you cannot engage any of the addict reasoning. It’ll kill you too.