Hello everyone I need advice on how to verbally set

Recovery
#1

Hello everyone I need advice on how to verbally set boundaries without sounding mean but still firm I'm what I'm saying!!!

3 Likes
#2

Keep the focus on you and your issues. For instance, you might say “I need some time and space so that I can work on some personal issues that I need to resolve so that I can be a happier and a better person”, rather than “you f’n suckk and I need to get away from your sorry as$”

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#3

Say no more. I love it thank you lol yeah that last part is what I want to say but I know I can't :sob:

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#4

It’s the oldest break up line I know…”it’s not you, it’s me” lol. They will most likely push you for more details, but you don’t have to say more. No means no and you don’t need to explain it any further. You are allowed to walk away to care of yourself. This a good boundary to practice in this situation.

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#5

Lol when u said that all I could think of was Seinfeld lol :laughing:

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#6

Politely but firmly let people know that you are taking care of you. If these people like and care for you they will understand and respect your wishes and stick with you. If they don’t, they were probably fair weather family/friends to begin with. People who don’t mind, matter. People who mind, don’t matter.Good on you!

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#7

Do what you need to do for yourself

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#8

Stay on my regular schedule

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#9

Check motives before respond

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#10

No matter how you say it, people tend to be offended. It's just how it is, often. Regardless, don't hesitate to set healthy boundaries. It is YOUR life, after all.

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#11

Sometimes I need a LOT of support. Here’s what works for me - tell your sponsor and three friends what’s going on and the boundary you want to say. Write out what you want to say. And read it to a fellow. Once you get an OK from someone (who has what you want!) then check in before and after you set the boundary. Sometimes like I said I need a lot of support. But it works it really does.

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#12

Pretty much what I did but I still told the person I'm just focusing on myself. And they don't respect the boundaries I've set so I can only control my side of the street

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