Don’t give up and no matter what just keep moving forward. I drank for 35 years and have been sober for 8 years now. It can be done. I just keep myself occupied when that urge comes along. Just keep moving forward….
My suggestion is get a daily routine that starts with admitting you're a alcoholic and asking your higher power if you have one to help you through today. I'm 3 years sober and I do this daily it's become a habit. I go to a meeting every day you'll find the more you go the more comfortable you become. Get a sponsor and work the steps. Make some sober friends and call them when you struggle.
20+ yr daily drinker. 6 yrs sober as of next month. Don’t let yourself get discouraged. I had multiple goes at finally staying dry in the beginning. We are creatures of habit. I sent a friend request. I work night shift so if you ever need to talk at an odd hour, just keep me in mind.
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You’ve been doing what you needed to get by. Now you’re ready for something different. You’re ready to embrace recovery
A lot of people stay silent when they start struggling, but the best route is to talk about it.
Just keep showing up.
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Jessica, when you do eventually go to a meeting just sit and listen. You don’t have to share if you don’t want too and don’t let anyone force you. 
I feel the same way. Go a few weeks or months then I go on a week binge. Body hates me for it, so does everyone else. I like your unbinding ritual you tried today. That's a good idea and your intentions will bot be ignored. Thanks for sharing this. I never even thought to try something like that
Good morning and we are glad you’re here. I know what you’re feeling. Thank god there is a solution. AA has changed my life, perceptions. I came back in the program with all that stuff. When we work the steps the miracle begins. Sponsor, meetings and helping others. Read the 9th step promise. It’s a fact and will come true.
You don’t have to figure all that out just now, just take one day at a time , get to meetings, keep your higher power close to you at all times. I never even imagined my life with out alcohol and drugs. By the grace of God I haven’t used or drank in 23 years .
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Welcome, have you spoken to your doctor? Maybe they could prescribe you a medication that might help. Sometimes cold turkey is the right thing to do. Sometimes giving in cold turkey is not the answer. I'm sure that your doctor has some idea for you.
Maybe get counseling. It helped me
@jessica374264 Welcome to the Loosid Community. Must importantly 
CONGRATULATIONS on your 8 days of sobriety. You're in the right place. Keep up the good work. At times we have to take it one minute at a time to get through one day at a time. If you can make it through today then you've been victorious.
You can do this Jess. I'm here/hear for you.
I feel like I wrote this post!