Hello, I am new here, I had a lapse mid January. Since then I have zero urge to drink. Talking with my wife she said that I made a bad choice that made my home unsafe. Before I was sober for 8 years. My motivation was if I stay sober my relationship with my wife will get better. That has not happened. Now my motivation is to keep my home safe. For me, my daughter and wife. I hope to make some friends here.
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Welcome to the community Brian. Sorry you are having a hard time.
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Hi, Brian. Welcome.
Hi Brian. I hope you find this app as helpful as I have.
Relapsing has really impaired my relationship with my fiancé and I am really hoping it’s repairable. We still love eachother but lost passion, respect and trust
Thanks, I thought I would be able to do this on my own. It was working, but I was let down. I now have a better motivation, I am finding a Dr. Hopefully in the next week. My depression I think is part of my problem.
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It is official, my Wife is leaving. This is the price for my drinking. Everyone that has a partner to go through recovery please do everything you can to hold on to them. They are truly special.
Already thoughts of well what's the point of staying sober now.
Sorry to hear about your struggles but regardless of the situation between you and your wife, returning to drinking certainly won’t help things on any front, particularly the relationship you have with your daughter.
Brian - I’m sorry you are going through this. This isn’t what you want to hear, but a few things that have proven true for me, in a similar situation. Consider this tough love.
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for me, getting dry drunk sober didn’t help my relationship because it wasn’t addressing the underlying issues that drove my drinking and dysfunctional relationship.
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working a program has been infinitely valuable for my post-marriage with my ex-wife and daughter. We get along better now than we ever did married. In no small way this is because I’ve done a lot of work to “clean up my side of the street” through inventory work, amends, letting go resentments, etc. It’s been hard work that I could not have done alone.
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if you stay drunk during your divorce the consequences could be vast. As I said, I’ve rebuilt a beautiful relationship with my family, just on different terms. On the flip side of that coin I have a friend who kept drinking and lost visitation rights of his daughter. He is now a year sober and can only do supervised visitations.
To me this would be awful. I suspect it would be for most people, yourself included.
- Fellowship in the program was a life saver (possibly literally) as I navigated divorce and rebuilding a new life. 5 years later and I would say it was one of the most valuable tools in my life at that time.
Wishing you ease. Life is rough right now, this could be your rock bottom, but it gets better if you don’t self sabotage. Otherwise your rock bottom may be even deeper down the drain. Who knows how deep that hole is.
Welcome Brian. Thanks for bravely sharing your story. Wishing you well
Hit me up a DM if you’d find it helpful to chat. We don’t have to do any of this alone.