Hello to all my fellow people only you all can relate; I have been sober for a little over five months I absolutely am living my best life and my daughter and our two cats. We have our own place a nice vehicle but there is a huge void I do go to my rooms only twice a week so I certainly know that I have to do more than that!! I recently acquired a very wise, intellectual,knowledgeable, sponsor and he knows the program in and out he has been sober for 21 years I know generally the sexes do not cross but I am really struggling and he offered his help I am absolutely blessed that he reached out to me. he tells me my life will absolutely change and get better if I do the program and do it the way he knows how to do it. I have a huge void I do go to the meetings I sometimes share but I know I have to do so much more with starters I have to open that book but I have no idea what Im am doing or what to expect. I just joined a Home group which I am somewhat nervous about I know there’s service work to be done I haven’t done that yet actually there’s a lot I haven’t done I’m sorry let me rephrase that I got sober and continue to be sober! That is priceless I go to my rooms weekly but I’m not doing the program!!! please any advice would be greatly appreciated. I wish you all and especially the ones that are still struggling
Please any wise advice would be so greatly appreciated thank you all in advance and have a wonderful rest of y’all’s day.
A lot of feelings there. Your mindful of them, that’s a step in the right direction. The rooms are key to guiding you down the path. You’ll find the right people to support you. Keep it up.
I got so much more out of the big book when I read it with my sponsor. So what if you haven't cracked it yet.
- Try different meetings, find your people.
- Get a sponsor (
)
Stay true to yourself without outside influence.
I went to over 500 meetings, fellowship regularly, had several commitments. On day 363 I chose to drink again. I thought going to book study meetings was “being in the book”? When I broke down and dissected that book with several male mentor’s highlighting and writing definitions for words I didn’t understand. Worked each step as it came up in the book, just like book said!! I have not desired a drink in over 13 years. I doubt a Solution to life that has brought me priceless peace of mind. Have your sponsor explain the threee sides of the triangle and how important each side is to recovery 
Michele, Thank you for reaching out on here. This is a great platform to help get you started.
I sponsor both men and women. I don’t care what others say as I have a sponsor and we’ve talked about and my motives are to help and that’s it.
As far as the step work goes, reading the book with your sponsor is best especially if this person has a working knowledge of the book and steps.
The steps are simple but can dig up a lot of emotions.
Step 1 ask yourself are you powerless over alcohol and is your life unmanageable?
Step 2 came to believe a power greater then yourself can restore you to sanity? If you’re not ready then you can you believe that I believe that a power greater than myself has stored me to sanity?
Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. This one is where I had to find out what will power was… it the way I think. So yes I’m ready to give up the way I think and turn it over to my HP. In my case God.
Step 4 made a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves. This one was tough for me. But when I got good and miserable I finally sat down and wrote it out.
Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. This one is where you share your 4th step with your sponsor or spiritual advisor or someone you trust. But I suggest it with someone that knows the program and can guide you to see your defects when we can’t.
Step 6. Were entirely ready to have remove all these defects of character. This one is basically looking at our character defect list we made in step 5 and becoming willing to let them all go. This includes all of those that hurt us.
Step 7. Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.
This is where we pray to our HP. Asking him in prayer to remove this defects.
Step 8. Made a list of those we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. This can get a little overwhelming and emotional.
Step 9 made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. This one gave me lots of relief as I had tons of fear ever facing those I had harmed. Even the ones I owed money to.
Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when wrong promptly admitted it.
This step is where we continuously watch out for resentments, fear, dishonesty and self-pity. And make amends to those who we may have harmed. This happens throughout the day.
Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
There’s more to this step which on page 86-88 give us directions/suggestions of how we can do this step.
At night we can journal the ten questions asked on page 86.
When we wake up each morning we can ask God to direct our thinking so that it be divorced of self pity, dishonesty and fear and wrong motives. To direct our attention to what God would have is to be. This is my favorite step… it really grounds me each day. And there is some insight on how we should behave throughout the day.
Step 12 having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. This is another great step. I try my best to work these step daily. I sponsor others who want my help. I go to a few meetings, I have a home group, I service position in that home group, I am on a young people committee called SOCYPAA- Sonoma County Young People of Alcoholics Anonymous, we bring events and a meetings once a month to the young and young at heart. I speak at meetings when asked to be of service. I share my experience, strength and hope whenever I go to meetings. But most importantly I practices theses principles in the real world. That’s where they matter most.
I hope I said something that will help guide you into the big book, to want to seek the program. Today I walk a free man. I have no shame, I guilt, and I can love everyone, love and tolerance of others is our code.
I was completely clueless when I came in and I had been coming to AA for 20 years I had no idea what step one was and I had been reading it for 20 years my denial was so strong I couldn't even consider not drinking without getting over that denial
Crazy strong denial!!! It was 1 millionxs stronger than my best decisions!!!!
If the AA works for you awesome. I'm about to start an adjacent program that's more cognitive tools based because relapsing is my problem. It's called SMART recovery (Self-Management and Recovery Training). A few friends recommended bc it worked great for them and these groups often had sober activities ( hiking, sports, etc) to attend in addition to the meetings. www.smartrecovery.org to check it out and see where closest group is. It's not near as big as AA but growing rapidly. Ultimately, you should do whatever you feel works. AA is great and has worked for many ...I just prefer this one. Also a Buddhist based program called refuge recovery I just learned of too that's growing. Again, AA is tried and true for sure....just giving you an idea of other options for sobriety/recovery. Good luck and go gratulations on the 5 months.