Help ASAP! Hey guys and gals, I need some advice to save my marriage! My wife has been dealing with mental health issues and she would lash out quite frequently so I turned to alcohol to ease my stress of the situation. Anyways we got into a huge fight because she had one of her moments and I was drunk and tired of it. Anyways I said some mean stuff. And now we are separated for the time being... how do I win her back? I have started therapy, I am back on the wagon and going to meetings and I've gotten on meds to help with the anxiety and depression.. is there any thing I can do to get her back, has any one gone through this?
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I’m sorry, brother. Time apart, sobriety, and reflection are in order.
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There is no sure fire way to know the answer to that question. Sorry man. All you can do is take care of you. Work your program, stay sober, and keep your side of the street clean. Amends comes later… that’s why it is step 9 not 1. We are not in the right place physically or mentally to deal with the wreckage when we first get sober. If it is meant to work out it will, but rushing to “fix” things is definitely NOT the answer. If you don’t have a sponsor yet I would recommend one. Good luck man.
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First things first. Give yourself time to deal with what you are going through. Start building a program of recovery.
This may not be what you want to hear but there is no easier, softer way. Time is what you both need right now.
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What everyone else said. +1
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Yes I went through it with my wife but we pushed and we pull through I want to God Every chance I got I reached out to let her know how important she was to me and how sorry I was and then my addiction had overpowered me and came between the love that her and I shared. Now we’re going seven years strong and our anniversary is Tuesday don’t ever give up on your person love compassion and understanding can heal any word
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Maria, what advice can you give me? I would be so grateful for your insight since you've been through it and you're a female. I just don't know how to handle it and what she wants during this time
Surprise her shower her with love do you special little things to let her know that you love her unconditionally it’s the small things that matter she wants to feel wanted again I have mental issues also I’m on medication for it I’m compulsive I’m ADHD I have a lot of issues but I promise you a woman wants to feel wanted at all times and we depend on our partner to make that happen when we don’t have it we feel rejected and on one end and nothing hurts worse than that don’t give up you got this love conquers all
What if she says she wants space? Should I still do that? That's where I am confused on what to do moving forward
I was thinking about sending her flowers at work onFriday. Is that too much?
It’s definitely not too much I think it’s perfect I’m a romantic down to earth and I promise you she would feel so special
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Thank you so much. I'll keep you posted
Messaged you!
Does your wife need to see a psychiatrist too? If so, make that a condition.
Yes I do believe she does and she knows it as well. She's mentioned it in the past and I supported the idea but she always backed out of going
All great answers!
Be kind and give time, time.
Work on you. And try to figure out where your part was in the beginning. Because the only thing any of us can truly change is ourselves.
I don't know what your spiritual convictions are but there is a book out there that I highly recommend. It's called The Power of a Praying Husband.