Help me I’m loosing my battle!

I didn’t battling attention addiction to fentanyl for two years now, and I cannot seem to get through it. I have went to rehabs. I have talked to people. I have even reminded myself that if I’m sober, I can see my children who I miss dearly. My youngest is not seen for almost 2 years, my house burnt three years ago so I am homeless living in a gutted trailer with no utilities. My family has disowned me. my dad passed away in 2007 my best friend January 2024 my mom February 2024 and have been without my kids since August 2021. My kids always kept me going woke up in my life and seeing their faces every day, I don’t wanna be alive sent that I go get high and then realize what I done and then start crying because I’m away from my kids. I also have two tumors one of my back dropped on my spinal cord. They cannot remove so I am in constant pain fentanyl help that pain because I go to the doctor and they always tell me there’s nothing wrong, I’m crying not able to stand very long or lay down. I do I’m not able to do it for more than five minutes without being in tears. There’s something wrong but don’t see that they make it easier for me to get drugs because they don’t want to find the problem and fix it. or give me medication to help with it, but they will penalize me for using when I came to them for help to not use words for them to penalize me for using when I came for help if you don’t have on your system, good luck finding a rehab to take you because there’s not a treatment for methamphetamines. how would you suggest that I fight this battle and come out winning? I am never my whole life. I’ve never wanted anything I fail like everything I do.

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Do you have a sponsor?

No I dnt know how to do that!

It’s easy to get a sponsor. Go to meetings and listen and talk to some people that have happy sobriety. Then ask them to be your sponsor. They’ll guide you on next steps.
You can private message me and I’ll walk you through it.
I sponsor serious people too😊

Thank u I accepted ur request.

Hospitals around here treat addicts like sh*t
I saw it when my son died in the ER. I beg you to reach out to sober people and form connections and a network. Fentanyl is like playing Russian roulette. Praying for you girl