Helping others:
Any suggestions for supporting a sober friend who recently relapsed without jeopardizing your own sobriety? I’m 2 days away from reaching 2 months of sobriety. And one of my friends constantly relapses. I try to listen and help. But for some reason it’s kinda hard for me to hear about their relapse…
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It sucks to say for you to distance yourself from them but it’s what you should do. You can’t help somebody that’s not ready to help themselves it will drag you down with them.
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going through a very similar situation. i’ve just been trying to focus on my sobriety. i’ll be there for her when she’s ready to commit to sobriety again but i can’t get too close to the damage
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Same thing here, I have a guy who I am supposed to be his best man in November, and he keeps relapsing. I have to always be ready to help, but I am more protective of my own sobriety. I just keep asking if he has gone to a meeting. I also talk to my sponsor a lot about it.
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I would suggest meeting at a meeting, safe space and you can have support as well
Look at it as more motivation that you’re not going through that turmoil.
Too much talking and listening without the person taking action or accountability could possibly lead to enabling or a codependent relationship.
To stay sober we own our shortcomings, accept our role in what we allow into our lives but most importantly we stay sober by learning from the past and moving forward one day at a time.
Some people just aren't ready to move forward yet.
U know I’ve been sober two weeks an I still drink occasionally but that’s cause I’m trying hard to leave my rainbow so I guess I’m not ready but actually I am cause it’s been two months that I am clean off of the color yellow so maybe it’s just time to quit the drinking I don’t know I just got my check today an everyone else did so I’m here at home cause if I leave here I won’t have a roof over my head I have everything here soo I’m just gonna take things slow
That's where I higher power comes in handy. Higher power.. . What is your God or good orderly direction or great outdoors or whatever it is for you hold on to. Hold on to that! make sure your sobriety is the number one priority. Make sure that you are a number 1 priority next to the society. Sobriety! Make sure that you don't put the person ahead of your sobriety.
Of course it is. It just takes time for it set in and hopefully while alive!
Sometimes you have to detach. Don't feel badly. Just love your friend from afar and check on her less often. Suggest meetings and a sponsor. If she doesn't follow through it's totally appropriate to put your sobriety first.
There are times in life where it's okay to be selfish of it means you protect yourself and your best interests first. Sobriety is definitely one of those moments. If others aren't aiming to take it seriously, that's okay. But you have to always put yourself first!! You're no good to your friends if you're lost in your own struggles and with only a few months under your belt, you're just as vulnerable as they are with trying to get your legs strong enough to stand on as well. It took me a while to realize this point. But getting sober is literally like learning how to walk again and you have to be willing to commit to some pretty great sacrifices to achieve this. If they're your true friends - they'll still respect your decision to distance yourself. We all want to people please to some extent and we all want to extend ourselves, because being kind and helpful makes us feel good. However, when the expectation is always about having to put off our goals and interests to entertain others lifestyles, we'll... We've failed ourselves again - and as many of us know, the sense of failure is a big trigger into keeping us using or drinking. Set a boundary. Get a little selfish. You're protecting your best interest and you're being selfish to align yourself with a better life. Anyone who appreciates you would encourage this!! Best of luck.
Aa . Org everyday for a year.take them with you.they say no.go on your own.work on you.!!!!!!!!!!.