It’s impossible to do alone. Get to some meetings - whatever kind. If you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, you’ll be surrounded by people who know exactly what you’re going through.
Our brains trick us. One thing that helped me was switching to doing something to better myself when I wanted to drink. I actually workout now. I still have to go to meetings to surround myself with people that remind me how bad it was.
Don’t spend anymore energy being mad at yourself, you don’t deserve it.
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It's not entirely impossible, sometimes I didn't always feel better after going to a meeting. But I certainly utilize the tools I got from those rooms to get me through day to day not so much the people
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Sara, thank you for sharing your experience. You have helped remind me that I still have the Allergy, mental obsession and spiritual malady. Now with that said, and the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I’m able to live a joyous life. My sobriety is based on a continuous maintenance of my spiritual condition. Once I realize that I need to stop looking outward for answers. Agree that there is some kind of power greater then myself. Taken inventory of myself. Had the guidance of another person to help me see my character defects or traits that caused me to run on self will which then caused harm to others and myself. Then I cleaned up my side of the street. Begin helping others to achieve the same, got service positions at various meetings, life became joyous. I still have days where I’m sad, depressed or frustrated but because I have tools to quickly see my wrongdoing or my selfishness/self centeredness popping up. Step 10 helps me to continue to take personal inventory and when I’m completely honest I can say I’m wrong and make it right with those involved. Step 11 brings me joy now. It wasn’t always like this. Because I was consistent even when meditation and prayer seemed like it was working my life changed. I’m the problem. When I get out of the way life goes smoothly.
The doctors opinion, more about alcoholism and the chapter to the Agnostic has given me a lot of information on how this disease affects me and that I really am a true alcoholic. Some of us may not be Alcoholic but more on the lines of a heavy drinker. The difference is on pages 20 and 21 of the big book. I was once all of them. This disease is progressive.
Ask yourself this questions; when I take that first drink can I stop abruptly? Do I obsess over the next drink? Do I do crazy things while drinking? Do I worry about what others think of me? Do I take inventory of what others are doing? Who am I angry at?
I found that drinking was but a symptom of my alcoholism. The real cause was my resentments and fear and my sexual behaviors and I wasn’t spiritually fit. I love to control life. My morals were above all else and if you didn’t live up to them I would become resentful, or kind and loving or mean and egotistical until I got you to do what I wanted.
My apologies for the long post, I hope you get something from this. I’ll continue to pray for your healing. Seek a power greater the you. If you can’t right now, believe that I believe.
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I am also back on day one. I called off work yesterday and I feel bad about it. Working on making today better than yesterday is all we can do.
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Thank you all so much 
It’s not how fast we are going what matters is that we are going in the right direction!
My sobriety started when I realized that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Trust in God, clean house, help others. Work the steps, get a sponsor, talk to your doctor, and do the next right thing.
Break your day down into increments. One day, hour, minute at a time.
Pick up the phone rather than picking up the first drink. You can't drink the second drink if you never pick up the first drink.
Help someone else, you might just save a life.
Just some things to think of. Everyday I get further from my last drink, I'm reminded that I'm closer to the next if I don't do what I need to do to stay sober.
Remember, if you put in as much energy into staying sober as you did into drinking your chances of sobriety should increase drastically I believe.
Just some things to think of.
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