Hey friends. I lost my boyfriend to the disease of addiction in October. People keep saying "it gets better with time". Ok....when? Because my heart is still broken just the same today as it was the day I found out he died. He was my best friend and Im all alone now....
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I am not going to start out with cliches or sayings that have probably been stated to you countless times that you just want to fraggle rocking scream. I will start out with this. Grief is a horrible thing to go through and especially loss of a partner. You may be thinking thanks captain obvious for the insight how in-depth you are.
What else is a real pain in the earss is time. Time may move forward and drag us all along with it, but grief and trauma stay in one place and keep us there with it. Hostage in our mind and in our past. I am not going to say that time heals all wounds or that it will get better because I am not you and I don't know the depth of your situation. Where is the uplifting message and Madonna 1999 hit title ray of light in all this? Where the insight of something to latch on to in order to find peace? Well..... I will leave you with this then. Though the road is
Long and feels never ending and just too much to take on you will get to the end of it some some day and some days will be really worse than others where you feel like all the breath has been taken from your lungs. Yet you will make it through..just keep walking and find what will heal and adapt as needed.. pick up and discard stuff along the way.. grief isn't a clear road it winds and backtracks, but it will lead you to a path of it someday. May you find what you are seeking and safe travels.
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In time, the feeling changes, when? I can’t say. When you feel alone, know that there is a group of people out there who care about you and support you. You may feel alone, but you aren’t.
I’m so sorry
With any type of loss it's never easy The healing process does not affect everybody the same but I can say this if you can just take all the good times you that you and boyfriend had together and make a barrier with that around your heart you'll be surprised how much better you will feel if you let your heart and your mind come together with those good times I lost my son and he was my youngest son during my addiction So could you imagine what I had to fight through with my addiction feeling guilty And every other feeling that I never knew existed But I made it through it with my higher power and the people in recovery so I really suggest highly suggest get yourself a support group and it could be family could be friends whatever but don't do this by yourself you're going to drive yourself crazy im pretty sure all you need now is some serenity you can do it you will be in my prayers
I’m so sorry for your loss. It does get better with time but this is still very recent for you. My mom was a lifelong alcoholic and prescription pill addict who took her own life 12 years ago. It hurt so much, it was crushing, literally felt like my chest was being crushed and like someone had kicked me in the stomach. It helps to talk to others about it, trust me. And be careful who you share it with because many will not understand. I recommend a good therapist. Hold on, it does get easier to bear with time. Today I live with it mostly comfortably. You do eventually come to a sense of peace but it does forever change you. 
No one can really answer your question, but you DO have people cheering on your will to endure until things actually do get better. Hang tough!
@leigh136006 those who say it gets better with time, have never had to deal with that loss. I wish I could say it gets better; but how does one recover from losing a leg? The never truly get better, they just learn to cope. It still drastically hurts when I think of those I've lost. I still tear up in their memory. The feeling of I wish they were here never gets better. In fact writing this, my mind has wondered to my loved ones who are gone and I choke back tears. I have to chose to remember them in the good times, even though their voice is almost forgotten to me. The memory of their embrace is still in my heart and the things they taught me with their presence is my guidance.
Keep his memory, and the lessons in life your time with him gave you. You will learn to continue. Carry on in your life in his honor. He would want the best for you so be the best.
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Honestly, anyone who says it gets better are full of $hit. We lost our daughter in 2014, and while I wouldn’t say that it will ever get better, you do adapt and grow to a point where you are able to better cope and deal with the new normal.
A friend of mine, who had also lost a child, summed it up perfectly. He said “It will never be the same. You have your life before they died, and your life after they died, but it’ll never go back to how it was, and you learn to accept that”.
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I lost my mom in 1995. You being on Loosid instead of a bar, means you’re already coping better than I could. I drowned myself in alcohol for years. Which is the opposite of how she lived, or wanted me to live.
Others have described the pain of losing someone you love very accurately. I’d just add that you living your best life, and honoring him and his memory by realizing some of his dreams and goals is great tribute. While your lives together on earth have reached an unfortunate split, you’ll carry his memories always.
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Very well stated. I couldn't have said it any better.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Most sincerely. Big hugs at you…
You aren't alone sweetheart. God is on your side, got you tucked under his wing. My sincerest condolences. You WILL get through this!!
We carry the message so others won't have to go through what you have.
Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to respond and to provide me with advice and Hope. Sometimes the road just seems so dark and I guess it leads me to question why I'm here and especially what I did all of this for 10 years ago if addiction was going to ruin my life after all. I should have probably included that a month earlier my best friend of 25 years died of alcoholism and on my 5-year anniversary my best friend's meant that died of an overdose and I found her body in my apartment. I really appreciate the encouragement sometimes I just feel very discouraged I look around and I see so many people suffering and I just feel like addiction has ruined my life and I'm not even using anymore! Addiction has taken away everything I love I guess all I can do is continue to pray for clear eyes and an that i continue to keep an open heart
You may also call me "Debbie Downer" lol
If you’re painstaking about the process? Before you’re halfway through.