Hey guys, kinda struggling. Been periodically slipping in the month of March. On vacation right now with my mom and sister & last night I decided to try to moderate (funny I know) but it was really hard and wanting more consumed my thoughts the whole night. I know I am an alcoholic, I just am in a battle with myself but I need to be sober. I no longer go to AA, but it feels like I need some sort of foundation/support because I keep talking myself into drinking.
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You’re in the right place .. welcome
If you need to chat I'm down
Allie, for me, AA helped but I didn’t quite get what I felt I needed out of it. I know AA helps A LOT of people, but I also know I have to do what works for me. SMART Recovery has been huge for me, I look forward to the meetings and feel great after them. They are also online. If ya want more info on it let me know
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Thanks for letting me know - SMART recovery is something I have actually been thinking a lot about as an alternative.
Hi Allie , so me and you are in the same boat . I was sober for 11 months and i decided to just have “one drink” on a night out with my friends, that one drink turned into “i Can have a few drinks every now and then” which turned into me going into complete oblivion, funny enough i also stoped going to AA for 3 months before my relapse . I’m now only a few days sober but my thoughts are also consuming and it’s a constant war in my brain. For me it was not just one day at a time but it was one second , one minute ; one hour at a time … i m here with you
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Yes that sounds very familiar. I actually was sober for about 10-11 months before I initially relapsed too. I hadn’t been doing AA for a few months either, and it was going well but then I had a stressful month and the thoughts crept back in. But I’m not capable of having “a few drinks”, I never have been and I need to stop trying to be and embrace sobriety the way I used to. It just feels tough lately - drinking is the only thing that makes me feel at peace. Maybe we can chat and go through it all together
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I took one and a half Rolling Rock and it was a ten year relapse. It what we do if we are alcoholics. I’m just glad you had the good sense to pick yourself back up ASAP
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I do 8 a week online
I hear ya! I was that way for a long time. It wasnt untill i stepped out of myself and looked at my decision s, and the consequences i lived with. You can do this
I’ve found that when I stop doing my sober things (AA & SMART meetings, speaking, fitness, etc.), then the urges and thoughts start to creep in. If I notice the thoughts entering my mind, I go do one (or more) of my sober activities. That’s what works for me.
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Really cool that you’re honest and share this here instead of using a slip as a reason to go off the deep end. My relapse lasted 7 years and almost killed me, I wish I’d have done what you’re doing when I first slipped.
You quit AA and it sounds like you're trying it Allie''s way.
How is that working out for you?
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has THOROUGHLY followed our path.
And you keep relapsing because you keep believing the big lie; that this time, everything will be okay.
The idea that somehow, someday he/she will control and enjoy his/her drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
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Checkout Smart Recovery, it's a good approach for me.
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Just “going to AA” didn’t work in my experience. A miracle happened after I went to AA and actually got a sponsor, and worked the steps with a sponsor, and did other service work. Somewhere in that process I lost all thoughts of having a drink. I stopped doing any work, stopped calling my sponsor, and stopped going to AA and wouldn’t ya know it? I thought a drink would ease me through the end of my 2nd marriage. Thankfully, I knew what to do
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Stay strong and be true to yourself
Go back to AA, get a sponsor and work those steps!
I love SMART!
Message me if you like. I know exactly how you are feeling!