Hope everyone is doing well. I've been sober from alcohol for 1586 days now. Praise be to God.
Question: I'm dating a guy who drinks alcohol. I don't feel tempted because I made a my decision to stop drinking once I dealt with the underlying causes. Much happier. It's been suggested to date only sober people. Any thoughts on this?
I'm a teacher and love teaching. That use to be my #1 trigger. I'm also a musician so places that I perform usually have alcohol. I love turning DOWN alcohol drinks when offered to me.
Any thoughts?
P.S. I don't go to meetings.
Thanks!
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Welp, from my past experiences I had 7 years my first go round and thought I was cool enough with not using hitting clubs and dancing. Started with me and the misses and then became a 1 or 2 day a week thing. Eventually picked up. Stopped meetings. Stopped hanging with others in recovery. Had a business. Living large. Got sober again. Lasted 8 years that time. Opiates got me. Broken bones, etc. Hope you can keep hanging. I won’t ever again tempt fate. Till the end this time. Last rock bottom did me in.
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First, congrats on your sobriety! I do have thoughts and comment based upon my own personal experiences. I’ll sum it up here, but if you want details feel free to friend me. I suggest you make sure you have a strong daily program of recovery, and maintain some sort of social life with some sober friends. If you can incorporate your partner into this, even better. Gratitude of this new life you have will only last so long without reinforcement of a recovery program. Mine lasted a very long time. However, over my 25 years of dry time, it slowly faded into restlessness, irritability, and discontent. I believe I may have avoided a lot of wreckage and pain had I been “connected” to a program. Anyway, I would hate to see anyone suffer as I did. Be careful with your sobriety. Cherish it and continue to nurture it.
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Thank you for responding. I do see my life getting how you described. I want a sponsor, but I can only have a female sponsor. And the wrong female sponsor will be disastrous. Some women can be catty, petty, and mean especially if your life isn't like their. Example, I'm child-free and the comments/treatment that I've endured would curl your toes.
Currently, my program is exercise, God, and music. Sometimes, music isn't enough. I don't have a lot of family. Both parents gone. I feel lost & alone at times.
How do I friend you?
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I sent you a friend request just now. Not sure if you have your notifications set up. Either way, you can click on my profile and tap +friend in the upper right hand corner
Ok, I'll check it.
I'm with you. I don't have a problem with others drinking around me. If you like this guy, and he doesn't abuse alcohol and respects your decisions/beliefs/etc, then dating doesn't seem to an issue. No need for sober-only. 
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Hi there,
Thank you for your view on this matter. He does respect my decision. For example, he was looking to go to a winery. He decided against it because he knows that I don't drink alcohol. I respected him for that.
Thanks again.