Hi guys. I am I think 4 days so we which is a record for me in the past year.
I just called a friend to apologize for my behavior over the past year and to tell him that I take full responsibility for my actions and I don’t expect anything to him but I asked for his forgiveness. He said “I appreciate it” and hung up on me.
I’m so sad. How do you deal with rejection like that when trying to make amends? I know drinking away my pain will just obviously make things much worse.
Hi, congrats on 4 days sober. I was a mess on my 4th day. I’ll celebrate 5 months sober tomorrow.
Making amends is a hard thing to do. I’m in AA and have been told that making amends is something you should do a little later down the road. You did the right thing by apologizing, but having to understand that your friend needs time, now that they know that you are sorry, is a hard emotion to deal with. Hence why it helps to share and have support. I hope that helps.
Being sober opens a lot of new emotions. Stay sober for today. Tomorrow is a new day and you will find it gets easier with help of like minded people rooting for you.
Sending positive vibes your way!
Thank you so much. That is very wise. I need to take it one step at a time and not expect everything to be good at once. I’m hanging in there today.
So glad to hear you are still on board 
Thanks so much. Pushing through and this community is sure helping
Hi Jon, congratulations on 4 days!! That is huge. Your physical detox symptoms should be subsiding if you had any. Tonight you might get some real rest!!
It is an old saying in 12 steps that you shouldn’t trust your thinking in early recovery. It was your thinking that got you into trouble. So that being said, try to hold off on making big decisions or changes. We all have a tendency to be really hard on ourselves and sometimes we apologize to people we don’t need to for things that weren’t ours to apologize for.
I hope you’ll get into a program of recovery and work with people who have been where you are, and have gotten where you want to be.
12 steps saved my life. A 12 step meeting is a great place to start, but the best program is the one that works for you.
I would love to do some sort of online steps and I know that probably defeats the efficacy of a real 12 step program but it’s just where I’m at. Is there anything? And thank you for your wise words. Reflecting I do feel in all humbleness my friend is being harsher than maybe needed. He has no clue about my drinking and it was just some political talk and he chose to get very mad. But I today said sorry if I attacked him and that I love him regardless.
And yeah the physical withdrawals haven’t been super horrible. Just sleep issues but that’s ok.
There are tons of zoom meetings. www.aa-intergroup.org is a road map to thousands of meetings being held 24 hours a day around the world.
Humbleness (humility) is a word you chose, and the ability to be humble and ask for help is the biggest step. Accepting the unmanageability of your current life takes humility and courage. And you’ve got it.
Bless you my friend for taking your time to pour into others. Please know what a huge difference it makes. Every time I get a message here it keeps me going that much longer. Helping me to walk until I can walk on my own.
Hey Jon, something you’re going to learn, is that helping the addict who still suffers also helps the person in recovery.
If you can’t reach someone on these threads, call the recovery hotline before you go buy that bottle. Alcohol fixes nothing for people like us. It just amplifies the guilt and shame that we feel every hung over morning of our lives.
430 days ago was the last time I felt that. And I pray every day that I never feel it again.
Beautiful. Thank you.
brilliant. thank you for sharing this. sometimes a little bit of space can provide a lot of clarity. Craig - appreciate your wisdom as always 
Glad to hear your m aking an effort Jon!!
My sponsorship family practices amends a bit differently then your description and I hope the different perspective can help.
Reading the posts I would offer a different approach:
"Hey friend we had a discussion in which you were not comfortable with some things I said to you. Is there anything I can do to make this right?"
Hope this helps!!!
Also Jon there are zoom meetings that offer a chance to find a virtual sponsor. If you have not done so I would advise downloading the "meeting guide" app its icon is blue with a white chair.
Thank you so much. I’ll absolutely download it.
If you have android or google play store you can search this link.
It is run by AA World Services you can search for meeting by location and remember if your looking for zoom meetings location does not matter I am from USA and one of my favorite zoom meetings is based out of Ireland
You're amends are for you but make sure you follow the steps complete and truly if you are going to use them. Each prepares you for the next. At day 4 you likely haven't fully self discovered. You might not have even given yourself to the idea of something 'higher than you' truly. It doesn't have to be God but it does have to be something to give you strength in the hard times ahead.
You made the best choice to become sober. Understand the hard path ahead but also the incredible freedom you have just found and chosen for yourself. Stay strong friend and stay active. We are here.
Keep going Jon, with you!