Hi guys, I finally got the apartment together. Things are finally looking up. Just wanted to let you in on a little secret even though I may have four years in recovery I have struggled tremendously not having cravings of wanting to use or anything like that is because nobody was happy for me except for my children. Everybody else kept praying on my downfall, wanting me not to succeed in my recovery in life I used to sit up and I used to cry and ask myself. What have you done to them? Why are they so angry with you? Nothing will come to mine. I started scanning every area of my life wondering what did I do wrong and it was simply just me being born. I found myself having to exclude myself from different relationships with family, friends, and associates. I found myself sitting alone a lot then God gave me my fiancĂŠ, and it was actually somebody that was for my past who showed me that I was worth loving who showed me that Iâm everything and it wasnât because of what I had or what I was bringing to the table it was just me he loved just me and I found myself again my strength today I fight not wanting to fight, but I do just to keep my head above water every single day I get up and I make a conscious choice of conscious decision today Iâm not gonna use and just for that 24 hours. Thatâs all I have to worry about just for today so if youâre out there, and youâre going through anything that you feel that you canât make it through and sobriety just think about this the problems were there in your in your addiction. They never went anywhere. They were just absolutely worse because you had no mean or mental from using thatâs why they call this disease of addiction. Itâs a disease of the mind. Nothing makes you comfortable in yourself anymore so you use just to get rid of the pain that you felt instead of playing to tape all the way through and realizing that every single day you can be an addict or you can be an attic in Recovery and still live your life you can have a bank account you can have a home you can have family you can have friends everything that your addiction took away from you. You can have it if you play your tape all the way through and donât ever pick up for some of us is a much too late. The trend has happened. We have Hall into addiction and this is what the devil comes in because heâs not looking for you to make it out. His job is to drag you down by any means necessary to make you struggle to make you feel like youâre not worth it to make you feel like everythingâs never going to be able up and up that people are out to use you that the devil has so many busy tendencies when youâre an addict, but as soon as you come to Recovery, the bail is off your eyes you see things clear you set boundaries you have an understanding you have wisdom now that is if youâre reading the big book and youâre reading your Bible and if youâre following God step-by-step, I never thought that Iâll be sitting where I am right today. I look around my apartment and I wanna share tears because I never thought Iâd make it. I really thought that I would be staying with People For for the rest of my life and even though I have some illnesses, I still get up every single day and I make that choice that decision and believe me it wasnât easy, but it was worth it so if we learned how to keep grinding every single day and making that choice, you donât have to fail God said things may not come when you want them, but he is right on time and for that Iâm grateful and I want you all to understand and know that anything is possible if you just let go
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Hi Alice, thank you for sharing how you kept hanging in there with sobriety and your Higher Power for 4 years while life was So Challenging with the people in your life. And now, you have found blessings and/or blessings have found You and with your fiance, and continued blessings with your children being happy for you with sobriety.
I feel so happy for you.
Yes, just one day at a time! 
Let Go & Let God