Hi guys. I’ve been really struggling these past few days

Struggling Help
#1

Hi guys. I’ve been really struggling these past few days. I’ve got a little over 5 months clean and I’ve felt pretty great for the majority of that time. But lately I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I’ve lost my fiancé, my job, our apartment and relationships with family & friends. And a few months ago my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and she’s been really struggling with that. I thought I had learned to live with all of those things but lately I’m having such negative feelings about everything. A big reason that I got sober was for my fiancé, but she left me anyways so what is the point? I just feel hopeless, and very, very alone. I guess I’m just looking for some words of encouragement

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#2

First you get sober for yourself. Second if your fiance didn't stick with you while you work through it then you are better off. Who knows if you got married what else could have happened. Your mom's definitely got a hard time and tough thing to deal with. Be there for her but give yourself time as well. That time maybe you will think of a new job or career and find what truly makes you happy. It's easy to be negative about things, but the only way they get better is by you making things happen. You can find a new home, get a new job, self heal, find a new girl that's there for you and mend family issues. It's not all easy but as long as you wake up and bust through the wall nothing can stop you

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#3

Thanks John! Reading your post definitely helped me tonight

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#4

This one hits close to home because it's kind of what I delt with. My exs father had cancer but didn't give time to her and us even with everyone telling her to. I was loosing it after her being an enabler getting me back into things after 10 years clean. I told her one day I needed help, wanted her home and I was loosing my grip. She said no. I filed for divorce and 6 years later now she is on divorce x2. Obviously there was other stuff to but that set it over. So be well my friend it'll be ok

#5

I really appreciate you telling me this. It helps to know that others have gone through something similar. Helps me feel less alone. Thank you

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#7

I appreciate that, thank you :pray:

#8

The most important thing I learned through my recovery community and later study is that alcohol was never a problem for me: it was an ill-conceived attempt at self-medication.

I only drank once in my life for fun-the first time. After that it was always to not think about something or to not feel something.

By the grace of God my sponsor got me to a therapist who helped me discover what I was drinking AT...and my whole world changed.

The turning point for me was when I believed I was worth saving; worth being sober for me. Then the rest of my life began to fall in line.

Through the death of 2 sets of parents, my amazing wife's year long struggle with two kinds of cancer (gone for 7 years now praise be to God), and multiple personal visible and invisible health challenges, her I am, sober for quite a while and still convinced I matter and I have something to give.

If you replace all the "I, I, I" above with "You, you, you," I pray you can find your way to strength and the certain knowledge that you are a perfect child of God and you can and will find recovery.

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#9

1 day, 1 hour, 1 minute at a time in days like these. Always remember that a problem shared here is a problem cut in half. You don't have to carry it alone.

And lastly. I have come to BELIEVE that a drink or drug will never improve, solve, or help my emotional well being. Because those same feelings wait for me when I sober up. Then add guilt and shame for good measure, because I feel like a failure.

Hang in there, 1 minute at a time if you have to. Because I PROMISE you, it will pass.

#10

Remember that speech the flight attendants give: "In the event of loss of a loss of cabin pressure, masks will fall from the ceiling. If you are traveling with someone, please be sure to put your own mask on first before you attempt to assist anyone else."

We cannot help others until we help ourselves. It is hard to love others when we do not love ourselves. It is hard to believe in others when we do not believe in ourselves.

Whether or not your fiance stayed or comes back, you have the opportunity to find self-compassion, self-worth, and self-love.

And through the support of people here and especially those in your hometown recovery community, you can learn to see through the blinders your addiction has put in place to keep you from seeing what a miracle you are!