Hi, struggling w sponsor issue. I feel very bad just writing about this but my sponsor is driving me crazy. They have been sober a long time and I've liked what I heard in meetings but personally I feel like I'm in a codependent relationship to make them feel better.
I have completed 1 step w this person. We have a friendly relationship but I may have been more open to friendship in the beginning now it feels like I need to take care of their loneliness or fill a social hole for them. I am not interested in having a new BFF.
I am acknowledging that this is hard for me when ppl express their lonely feelings and I wonder if this is something I should try to get over because of the help they offer.
I live in a small community and don't want to hurt anyone's feeling esp when they are doing an act of service towards me but really these requests of my time are at least 2x a week and I'm just not feeling the desire to hang out. How can I be honest in this situation without hurting this person? Also would like a different sponsor. I feel this person wants me to like them and hang out as a friend which I could do on occasion but not to the extent they would like I fear. Anyone ever deal with this? Ugh...
Um, my sponsor and I meet once a week on Sunday mornings for breakfast and to discuss my program. That’s it. And I like him as a person. But from the jump he was there to lead me, and if I didn’t do my work he was like “ok, let’s try again next week” and we were done. Never negative. Always supportive. But not friends.
Thanks for your perspective! It helps!
I had this issue towards the end of my being sponsored my my first sponsor of two years. Remember that even the person with the most time is still sick and you need to set a boundary. If you aren’t interested in trying to proceed with this sponsor, be honest and tell him so then find a new sponsor. Trust me, this is the least hardest thing you’ll have to do 
I hope this helps!
Thank you Mic, I think I want to find a new sponsor but I can't think of a polite way to tell her.
I appreciate your response very much!
Rigorous honesty
When I chose my sponsor, I chose someone I really admired. I wanted what she had. Her recovery and her practice of recovery in every day life is something I strive for. There is no finish line when it comes to recovery. In my opinion, be honest. You don’t need to get into details.
Hi Chris. Sponsorship is such a good topic to bring up!
Tell her in person.seems like there like everyone else.locking there self up.and need someone to talk to.tell her your not her to be here friend . You want to stay sober .find someone else.go to a lot of different meetings.
Honestly honesty is best.
I know I'd want someone to be honest and get feelings hurt, then have it drag on and be held back on my recovery by that behavior
Find someone that is going to help you
I just had to break up with my sponsor because we weren't on the same page. I am continuing on working the steps with friends to keep that forward momentum until I find a new sponsor. If it doesn't feel right, you aren't obligated to stay with a sponsor. I thanked her for her time and everything she had done and wished her the best. I feel better now that I parted ways kindly and respectfully. And number one, I am still progressing in my recovery.
My friends I am working the steps with have multiple years...