I started drinking and other drugs very young to escape some seriously traumatic experiences. I am 50 now and realized that I have spent the last 8 yrs hiding.My anxiety wouldn't let me leave my house. I don't talk to anyone, my husband is OTR trucker so I would be alone for weeks at a time. I have gotten to a point where I honestly don't know how to function in society. I get nervous, and can get very mean if i feel threatened in any way so i just stay to myself. I am trying to stay sober and just want be "normal" but I don't know how.
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Mandy, thanks for sharing. It’s a step in the right direction. I’m sober 17 years on 3/14. I started using hard drugs in elementary school. Got sober at 42, finally. If you’re too antisocial for in person meetings, try online meetings. You can just listen until you’re ready to share your struggles and your thoughts. I suggest meetings before you start your day. This way you get your head right before you get going.
Also there is a free app “Everything AA” that has the Big Book” the 12 & 12 to read or audio if you prefer. There is some really helpful knowledge there for people like us.
I’m here if you want to talk or have any questions.
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Hi! Thanks for sharing. I love the information shared here by Danny W. If you are open to having help with the effects of past trauma, there are services available online. Charlie Health is a great option for healing from the effects of trauma. They offer intensive outpatient substance use treatment online, too. I hope you find the support you need 
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Find a power greater than yourself and take it one day at a time. Attend meetings and talk to other people. Get a sponsor and just pray.
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Hugs and prayers sent. I highly recommend therapy to heal from past traumas. But also online meetings are really helpful too. Hope you feel better soon 
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