I know a lot of people who struggle with their higher power when going through the 12 step program. Here are some takeaways from meetings I have collected: "If you struggle with the God aspect of the 12 steps-don't try to understand your higher power, by just believing that something exists out there that is bigger than you, just trust it. Trust in the concept. It's there." For me, my higher power is human connection. Connection with other addicts working the program. It's the magic of the rooms and the meetings. Embracing that and holding that as the power that guides me makes it easier to give myself over to THAT higher power and trust in it. Being sober i have a moral compass now that I'm able to live by and that's magical.
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I dig this.
I feel like at some meetings, sometimes, the people there want you to "believe in something other than yourself" in hopes that eventually you'll jump on their happy god bus. Not all, but many. Personally, I don't like that part of AA. I'm not into cosmic shït, thinking it is pulling me in one direction or another. I don't need to belive in something "bigger than myself" to get/stay sober. I don't even really know what that means. I just know I need help and there are people who have done this before. Basically, acceptance of help. People do it everyday. Got a flat tire? Reach out to AAA. Alcoholic? Reachbout to AA. Makes total sense to me. People get so deep in the weeds thinking that something is actually doing something for them, divinely. Religion/the divine, to me is junk food. It gets you high on believing then the depression from the crash is debilitating.
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I feel that. Especially when one of my biggest issues is using is a hatred for "god" and causing all the bad crud in the world. Like "why even make suffering" lines of thinking. For me, it definitely is the acceptance of help and admitting i need it and cant do this alone. But unfortunately and fortunately? the steps are so engrained around god or a "higher power" that you have to find "something" and i'm the type of person as well that HATES not being in control so just GIVING everything over to something i dont necessarily believe in was a recipe for disaster lol but i find just calling the connection with people my higher power eliminates those barriers for me. I hold it in a position of something greater in myself while still having control over it. I sometimes struggle with strict aa meetings so im glad i found my home meeting (PA) where people get what i mean
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