The most alone I have been is when I am hitting a bottom. A major reason for my using was fear of being disconnected and lone, yet here I am Disconnected and alone b excuse of what I did in attempt to find connection. 
isn’t it ironic:notes:.
The the most emotional nights, in my opinion, are fast approaching before I check into treatment. As I am packing the panic is creeping in. I am beginning to question every single choice I have made since grade school. I am overwhelmed with sadness when I think about leaving my cats and the possibility of them thinking I left them forever. I am in this space with conflicting feelings and thoughts, because I am equally grateful and excited as I am petrified. Here in the darkest hours, I want to be with my people, only they have moved on and are no where to be found. Much like the waves of the ocean, every feeling comes and goes-and they are all different and always contradicting. It’s a weird dichotomy.
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There are many emotions here that make one feel overwhelmed and helpless. Just know that you HAVE the power inside you. To be calm and happy .. I win and smile.
to win and smile
Your cats will love you even more when you return! I've heard from several people who got sober and felt more love from their pets. Just my 2 cents worth. You can do this!
First things first. Take care of yourself, and all else will fall into place.
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We are your people. Your about to be in a world of thousands of people like yourself.