Any one else get to feeling real lonely even when they are surrounded by loved ones on the holidays? Any tips, strategies? Coping mechanisms?
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Yep, sure do! I try to stay out of my head and in the moment...I let my drinking rob me of everything for so long! I have to remind myself that I've worked hard for my seat and that it's ok to enjoy the holidays with my family and I don't have to feel shame anymore because I am not who I used to be!! And that my friend is golden!
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The holidays brings about a different type of isolation for me. This was one of the only times my dad was happy during his living years. Otherwise he was drinking and the emotional abuse was bad. This will be my first sober Christmas in a long time. I don't have any tips or strategies but I just wanted to let you know that you're never alone.
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Sounds like a good way of dealing with it and positive. Good for you.
You are not alone. It’s a difficult time to be sure. It’s not healthy to isolate too much, but like Michaela said above: it’s one holiday and you and your sobriety are the priorities. Good luck
Holidays in my early years, as a child, were filled with yelling and fighting. Family gatherings on my Dad’s side, drinking was always involved, would escalate into an argument then a fight. So with that trauma I soon became the grinch at all holidays in my adult years. Now that I’m sober, working a program and becoming a kind and loving human, I’m able to let go of my past ideas of what holidays should be like and turning towards a more loving and peaceful time spent with either family and/or friends. I no longer have to play grinch to fill that void.
Speaking of Holiday’s I have to wrap a few gifts today. Have a blessed day!
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Make some phone calls during the gatherings. People in your support system. You’re never alone when you keep reaching out.
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Stay connected here. Go to AA or NA meetings. Set aside time everyday to connect with your higher power. Do you have sober friends? Stay connected to them. Try to help someone else in the program that is struggling. Helping someone else always helps you.
I used to call myself the loneliest guy in the room. I was always alone in my head. My addiction isolated me and I began to enjoy it. But bro, it's too messy in there hahahaha. And the fact the only family outside my son, is 1200 miles away so I get to spend these holidays alone physically. I try as much as possible making every day just as important holiday wise. That way when "Christmas day" comes and my son is with his mother, it's just another day and our holidays are when and where we make them. That's what helps me. If you ever just need to vent I'm here brotha.
I try to bring a form of service work into it. I'll help with the dishes, or I'll pick one person in the room (sometimes I find this is easiest with kids) and have a conversation with them. Really listen to them. Try to compliment them or make them feel good about themselves or feel like they are a really interesting and worthwhile human being. You'd be surprised how much this helps with that "outsider/lonely" feeling. Maybe it won't fully take it away, but it makes a BIG difference.
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I do, I don't have my only child with me this year. I'm in a resedential drug treatment program. He's with his aunt. I hope and pray that you are able to feel joy around the holidays and know that your not alone
Hit a meeting with your other fam always makes me feel not so isolated because my family definitely does not get it and thats ok so I show up just for the hi bye and food then kick it with my new chosen fam
I am scared of the temptations during the holidays. Being around my family of drinkers without drinking won’t be easy.
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Respect your feelings and honor your limits. If you need to hang out for only short period of time or not at all.. then just tell yourself your sobriety is more important than offending everyone. Also loneliness I think is about not connecting. You can make it a scavenger hunt to really connect with another person. Really look for all of the beautiful things about them and just spend time getting to know them on a whole other level. Also two Aussie puppies have kept ball loneliness at bay for me. 
Feeling the same way right now. Other than working I’m sleeping. I keep telling myself I’m gonna go to a meeting but I just sleep till I have to go to work. Been down as well. Hope you can find a way to get out of isolation tho. Stay strong.
Try and go to some kind of meetings before you are around drinkers it helps .Aa . Org .celebrate recovery.is at church.Any thing will help.
Stay connected with your peeps. Even in the middle of your family you can sneak texts to your recovery friends. You can even bag on your family that way. lol When you stay connected with your recovery community, you stay connected to your recovery.