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I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. The opposite of addiction is connection. Do you work a particular program? You could make connections that way. I second the therapist suggestion - I know my therapy is necessary every week. Sounds like you are really focused on the negative. What do you have in life that is positive? There has to be positives. You could do a daily gratitude list and write five things you are grateful for. I’m a pessimist by nature and that really helps.