I've struggled with addiction for most of my adult life. Have stayed clean for 5 years straight, but the last few years has me in a pretty dark place. Been to treatment 2x last year because I want to be a better parent for my daughter. Ended up separating from her mom because she continued to use. Now that I've been on my own for almost 2 years I'm finding myself back in the cycle of relapse, get clean, then relapse. My life basically fell apart the past 6 months with my main support network washing their hands of me, losing my job, and my driver's license due to a dui earlier this year. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore, and loneliness seems to drive me back to my kids mom. toxic as it is, i find myself throwing away my ambitions and sobriety by returning to the home and person i know will inevitability result in my relapse. Without a license I rely on her to transport between our houses, which means if i want to be with my kid I have to come to her house. I could use some honest advise on the best way forward. I've stayed at her house for 9 days and didn't use, but then an impulsive decision in a moment of weaknesses restarted the loop. I feel really hopeless even when i am clean, the thought constantly surfacing that maybe my baby girl would be better off without me. I def have low self worth, and this last year has made those old thoughts of quitting all together come back around. I wish i could move somewhere and start over, but sadly the parenting plan we have doesn’t allow it as we split custody, and i refuse to dip out on my kid. So what's the solution? Is it possible to stay clean long term with a current user in the home? Has any addict ever stayed clean living among their doc? Or should i suck it up, stay away from her and deal with the consequences of no longer enabling her addiction, which means spending less time with my kiddo and her still being exposed to the chaos of addiction? Ugh.
Wow Tim you're in it deep. I'm sorry you're going through this. If this was me I'd take a hard look at my sobriety. Nothing changes if nothing changes. What are your triggers, what makes you relapse. Whatever they are stop immediately. You really should look at changed behavior and build from there. Remember for short periods of time you can get sober for anyone, but you recover for yourself. I'm praying for you. Best wishes.
Focus on yourself and staying sober. You will always be your kids father and you are entitled to joint custody so treat your recovery like a drowning man see’s a life raft. Your priority should be your sober self and being a great father to your child. Praying for you my brother
Tim, I had to first save myself and get SOLID on my sobriety before I could save anyone else. You have a mission!!! Get your assss clean and super solid 
. Go to early morning and evening in person meetings every day, get sponsored and do the 12 steps multiple times until you’re super strong. Then go save your daughter.
Effff the ex!
I’m here if you are serious and ready to get real.