Horrible parents

Recovery
#1

anyone else dealt with horrible parents during their recovery?
My mom and I have never had a good relationship. I was always trying to please her and keep the peace but she always made it clear she didn’t like me. She was emotionally abusive. Manipulative etc.

Told her I have been sober and all of a sudden she’s having a beer at 11am , and making drinks at night. She doesn’t drink. She complains about alcoholics and drinking in general.
She’s no longer hiding her alcohol from me since she’s learned I am sober. (Which hasn’t been a problem for me wanting any. Just hurtful that she’s acting this way)

Just the other day, she spiked a drink mix that was NA and put it back in the cupboard. Guess who’s drink mix it was... mine.
I know she’s trying to make me fall back into my old ways. And if it had been 4 months ago, she would have pushed me. It’s just really hurtful to have my mother say how much she loves me to other people and then tell me she doesn’t like me and treat me that way all through my childhood.
My daughter and I currently live with her and my father and we saw hope at the end of a very dark tunnel. I finally saved up the money for a decent vehicle so I could find a better job and get us the hell out of here... and someone stole my car savings. I work 2.5 hours a day so it took me forever to save up that amount. And now I’m worried that I failed my daughter by not being able to get her out and away from the same person who pushed me towards my addictions.
I would never let my mother speak/treat my daughter how she treated me when I was younger. But it sure is bringing up a lot of unresolved trauma from my childhood...
but I guess at some point during sobriety you gotta face those traumas that you tried to push down. Ugh. Wish me luck :v:

#2

I will pray for You! Set some boundaries a and be prepared to walk away, You could loose everything if You dont

#5

I am sorry that your mom is behaving so badly. I wish you good luck.

#6

That is awful ... your insight may be your saving grace(by definition). Stay strong O2-28-2OO2

#7

You need to get out.when you can.go to meetings if you can.

#8

Codependency is real and likely your habits before helped her to behave the way she has. It sounds very dangerous but be strong and realize you are still ultimately in control. I am sorry you have such a touchy home environment but look to friends and support other places. You made the brave and right choice for YOU and that is what matters most

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#9

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can’t even imagine the emotional abuse and trauma. She’s a horrible human being.

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#10

Wow! I know how you feel. My mom used to terrorize me. Get right and get out of there.

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#11

My parents are not a bug part of my life and I do not rely on them to stay sober. My recovery network is a list of people by my invitation. I always have room for more but people who don’t get don’t get it and I couldn’t care less.

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#12

My mom acted like this too. I never told her about my alcolism partly because id be afraid she would do something like that. Im not saying your mom is a narcisist. But im pretty sure my mom is one. I tried so hard to save my relationship with my mom by setting boundaries, vocalizing my wants and needs from her and generally just trying to talk to her without her being so manipulative. Nothing worked for me. So i had to cut off all connect with her. I tried getting a restraining order because she harassed my family, friends, and i so much she caused me more trauma. The judge didnt approve it but i ended up having to cut off connections with her side of the family, change jobs, and move houses. Its so hard to not have a support system that is healthy. And speaking from my experience, it hurts so much more in knowing that the ideal image of what you want in your mom just isnt a reality. And its worse when shes not supportive and causing you harm by risking your sobriety. Its a harmful environment to be in. Obviously we have different lives so i cant say i know exactly how you feel. But i can very much relate to the things you expressed. Sending you lots of good vibes your way. And please remember there are people outside of your mom that are rooting for you. For your sobriety, and that you deserve good things in your life.

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