Right back at you with the “ego” check. I was looking at some of your posts. Such negativity. Since we are presuming to know each other, which we don’t (but feel free to read part of my story in the sober spotlight). It doesn’t seem like you are on this platform to inspire or help for others. You just want to bash AA, because what..you got your feelings hurt or don’t agree with some people in the meetings? It does work. There are millions of people it’s working for right this very minute. There are people who are really struggling and are looking for hope and encouragement on this platform. Write about something that is working for you and your sobriety. Share that positive message.
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Aimee,
People come in all different shapes and sizes including people in AA. Everyone has to be responsible for their own recovery. Sometimes you have to take what people say with a grain of salt. Not everybody interprets the big book the correct way.
It was never the intention of the writers to imply that the husbands and wives of alcoholics are supposed to bow down to them at every turn so that they don't return to drinking.
Anyone who believes it to be that way needs to go back and do their homework and probably get into the steps a little deeper. When you get into the steps the way they are suggested you definitely don't walk away with that mindset.
I haven't read your previous posts and I don't plan to. I can only testify that I owe my life to Alcoholics Anonymous. When I came into the program with the willingness that was needed to do what was suggested and stop trying it my way I was nothing more than a falling down drunk. Today I'm a productive member of society with many blessings.
This is not directed at you or anyone in particular but I can tell you what I'm observing today is a lot of people that are coming into the program with no experience of life that seem like they have all the answers.
To all those people I will tell them that your best thinking is what got you here. And if you have all the answers, why do you need Alcoholics Anonymous or this app?
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I am all for AA. I am working the steps and have a sponsor. Go to meetings. My issue was that this man, who grew up in a militant authoritarian home, thought he had the right to tell others who expressed themselves that they are wrong and tried to censor what we had to share by intimidating us. I also believe that this particular chapter is a little outdated.
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All meetings allow you to take what you can use and leave the rest… and the traditions teach us to place principles before personalities. Someone might have received a message from the old timer that was leading the meeting. Living by the spiritual principles in all of our affairs is in our twelfth step… which one of them is humility.
As to the chapter of to the wives… if you open your mind enough as you read through it you’ll actually get some pretty good pointers on how to handle sponsees outside of just the working with others chapter.
I hope you find peace on your journey.
Ok Aimee
I wasn't there so I can't really elaborate on what happened. I have been to several big book discussions through the years and I would have to disagree on it being an outdated chapter.
I think people have in general been the same through the decades and the consequences associated with the disease of alcoholism have also been the same. The chapter to wives addresses some of these issues that husbands and wives of Alcoholics may be dealing with.
Aside from addicts and alcoholics themselves, nobody suffers more than those forced to watch a loved one suffer. They sometimes blame themselves for their loved one’s disease. Such people experience constant fear, depression, self-pity, and resentments. They lie on our behalf and when they aren’t trying to protect us, they’re praying for us to get better. At other times, they may lash out due to frustration.
I wish we could sit down and have a conversation. I'm always interested in hearing people peacefully express their views. I love hearing what's going on inside and how they came to their conclusions.