How do you forgive yourself after so many embarrasing mistakes? Because of alcohol? How did you guys move on from that? because i cant just forget it and brush it off.... I cant just do that? Someone might need to erase my memory or something. Its a sincere question i want something to help me forget about my mess-ups:upside_down_face:
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I worked the 12 steps of recovery, it’s a simple process that (if done with rigorous honesty) will straighten out most things. More importantly get you out of the cycle of doing the same things over and over expecting different results.
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Like Brian said…. Work the steps. We all have things we would love to forget, but the fact is you can not change the past, anymore than you can predict the future. In time you will learn to deal with feelings, thoughts and shame in a more productive way. Just don’t pick up, be completely honest with your program and self and it will all work out.
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What are the 12 steps of recovery?
I am a member of AA and the program is based on a simple 12 step system that if done with all honesty changes life’s. There are other programs but all the successful ones basically have the same 12 steps of recovery. Google the 12 steps and give a read.
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Forgive yourself for making mistakes when you were spiritually sick. You are not the same person and have put forth effort to change that.
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12 steps are what we do in Alcoholics Anonymous. You can find a meeting through Google!
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From the 9th step promises “we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it”. These things go away after a while only if we take the initiative to “clear away the wreckage of our past”
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My relapse humbled me, and also gave me more compassion toward others, which in turn made me more compassionate toward myself. It’s a two-edged sword.
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I know 100% how you feel. All the stuff I did that was absolutely humiliating. The lack of integrity that I had, the Boundaries I crossed and the people I hurt.
I can remember laying in bed and remembering what I did and doing the “woulda-coulda-shoulda’s” and trying to rewrite my reality of what happened. I beat myself up a lot and hated myself. At one time the disgust and hate for myself manifested into me.. spitting in a mirror and saying to myself., “I hate you”. It didn’t get me anywhere doing that only down the rabbit hole. More.
Today I definitely have given myself time to heal and tried to give myself grace. At the time I was literally sick. I was self destructive and in a place I never want to be in again. You’ll find that in recovery.. being honest and trying to be a better person is absolutely liberating and you’ll find freedom to forgive yourself with a little time. Stay close to the step work and try just one meeting. You will hear, always, what you needed to hear at a meeting. Take care