How do I help my son through his recovery with drinking? He’s almost 30 days sober, which is awesome! But I want to know what to say, or do. I just love him so much and want to help.
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I have been doing this by
his side day one. Reckless homicide when he was 18 giving one OxyContin to a friend. They made an example of him .many sober days and.
many sleepless nights
Wondering where he was. I resuscitated him from heroin/fentiNal clinically dead. Paid for six or so treatment centers with many broken
promises.
Even graduated UW and WAS sober lived with me and we had a ball. Addiction never goes away. It lies in wait. I just hired an attorney for 3rd owi, pot. 3000 and I am 66. My life has been this for 24 years. I am the worst enabler there is but I won’t let him die. People/counseling say let him go rock bottom.
In my heart fact tonight at 37 we have agreement to text each other good night. He didn’t do now I worry all night. He, I, beautiful girl and her family we all died March 3, 2004. I saw an 18 year old handsome scared kid shipped to prison. Next 6 years was phone calls, cheese boxes TVs. Radios etc. visits :
3 hours away Sit and eat garbage, drive : hours home in tears. He went to multiple treatment centers, is 37. And he goes in and out of sobriety. I flushed 800 of heroin last week my rule no drugs in my house. He wants to come home can’t care for himself. So my choice let him keep robbing me of my time left or let him go. So my advice to you is 30 days is awesome for sobriety!!!!!! Make a big deal out of because it is:pray:t2:
get help for you I go to Alanon. It comes down to him not you he has to want this and work hard at it. Meetings. Treatments. YES.
Because imagine trying to get a job with 15 felonies One reckless homicide. He’s fucked for life. So smart 4 year college degree Legal Studies. Well great, who’s gonna hire you? I work hard snd support both of us yet. Damn it he can buy drugs !!!occasionally. I can’t even go into more. I don’t want to scare you but do your damnest to steer him hard to meetings, watch everything they do and say. It’s a lie. I’m sorry to give you a not rosy picture but this can only go two ways. Choose sobriety is easier said than done. It is hereditary, a disease and my family loaded with . Yes I am sober and it is best thing I ever did as when I was drinking it sure did not help me cope or help him. Peace Hope strength and faith. Love Middleton Wi. I wish you and your son the very very best!!! Hugs 
I havd stood by my sons side day one when high school was an issue. Truancy. He got noticed and started his road group homes , court.
Jail. I remember putting him in
On a bus to treo
nt/school way up
In north woods 3 months. This was the. Eginning of our bell. He did not learn anything, defived the law. At age 17
I8, he sold one o yci tin
Have you heard of Al-Anon? Its a group for friends and families of alcoholics. There isn't anything you can do to either keep him sober or to continue choosing sobriety. I grew up in an alcoholic home and Al-Anon helped me immensely. It helped me understand the disease of alcoholism/addiction and how I could support without enabling, love unconditionally but establish boundaries, and so much more. Eventually I figured out I was an alcoholic and I switched rooms and got sober. Feel free to add/message me if you have questions or are interested in finding a meeting near you 
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Jenny thank you for sharing about you and your sons struggles with this cruel disease. I’m so sorry this has been your life for so long. My heart breaks for you and all parents who watch their amazing children hurt.
Thank you for your advice, I greatly appreciate it. You and your son are in my thoughts.
Hi Stacie, AlAnon is a great place for you to start, like Bekky said, it will help you understand everything better. Ultimately it comes down to your son sticking with it. Some ways to support him would be to not drink around him, unless he states otherwise; celebrating his recovery; encourage him in his recovery. But don’t hover, early in sobriety it is key that the person has their independence and is making the decisions on their own.
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Tough stuff to say the least. My parents just kept loving me and including me in family stuff. I constantly pushed them away until all I wanted was my family back. I don’t believe in letting someone hit rock bottom. That can mean death 
. Support and love. Keep a dialogue going. I’m 42 and talk to my parents every night. I check on them and they check on me. Love, love, and more love
I’ve haven’t talked to my son in 9 months… his birthday was November 2 .. he turned 26 … I finally reached out on his birthday but no response back … he’s mentally and physically abusive when he is using meth … that’s why none of the family has any contact with him for our own safety… but I miss him sooo much .. the sober him that made the room light up… and Omgosh could he make you laugh… 
I feel all your pain … I have a whole family of addicts of one thing or another but the abuse I couldn’t handle being around it anymore!!! All I can do now is pray !!! Thank you for sharing everyone
Just being supportive is enough. I know for myself and my sons. They are young men but I still want to take care of them. But the journey in front of him is his If he stays on track he will be ok. Tell him that you are proud of him.
Becky, I have heard of Al-Anon. Thank you for suggesting it. I will do some serious research on it and check out my local area. I will do everything I can to educate band myself to help my son. He just means more than anything to me.
There are zoom meetings listed on their website 
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Thank you Jenn. I’ve really got to get to an AlAnon meeting. Plus I also have to realize Evan has to want to do the work. I can’t make him to do the work to be sober. I think I’m just freaking out about him not doing the work and relapsing and dying. He was told by so many doctors this last go round that if he drinks again he WILL die. I just want him to live and not drink. Thank you for your advice about meetings. 
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Zoom meetings would be perfect to see what they are all about.