How do you cope now when people hurt your feelings and you now feel not good enough or not wanted. Struggling right now. Usually in the past would have turned to drinking but now need a plan B.
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Great question, Jennifer.
I wish that I had a solid answer. I’ve been struggling with the feeling not good enough part.
I’m sure that some folks will chime in and provide some insights…I could use some, also!
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Sometimes when I experience such, what you mentioned…I try to remind myself that these feelings are not facts, that they will eventually pass, that everything is temporary.
I know that I will be journaling, writing about these feelings I have been experiencing. I wish you well!
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This is perfectly normal feeling especially in early sobriety.
Many alcoholics feel “less than”. Drinking at this emotion only makes it worse.
Are you working a program currently? There are solutions.
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Sober 3 years so not in too “early” sobriety. Not currently working a program. But first time this feeling has come up in a good while. I guess I’m still working on how to not let others opinions of me put me in a bad space.
Yes, definitely not early. I did not know. I’m in the AA program so that’s where my solutions are. The suggestion around that is to take a look at myself and be of service.
Besides that I would keep in mind that we are not our feelings. We cannot be everything to everyone. If it is just outright meanness or cruelty then I try to see them as a sick person and be grateful that I’m not as miserable as they are.
Hope that helps🙂
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You have to sit with it acknowledge it then let it go and over time we get better at this as we get stronger. When drinking you can numb it out but that doesn't make you stronger. Strength comes from sobriety as it forces you to deal with everything head on.
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You’re lucky to still be alive Ma’am!! Now I love you, so there!! I have a therapist (same degree I have), she’s wonderful! A psychiatrist, a sponsor in AA who will have 35yrs 7-28! If I keep on, it’s still not always great, 9-20 I’ll have 35yrs! I’m not commenting on “early,” what are we going to do RIGHT THIS SECOND!! Everything will be ok!!
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Sometimes people don’t live up to our expectations. Everyone falls short of their true potential. But everything happens for a reason in the spiritual realm.
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I love that!! I never thought about how our bodies react that way.
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What an accomplishment!! And really do hope things will be ok.
Would be great if you could talk to your sponsor or someone in your network. That’s the value of working a program.
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The principle of step 10 is perseverance. If I practice these principles, and all my affairs, I will persevere through difficult times. Of course, I need to help of a higher power support group and regular attendance at meetings.
When I feel that way, I reach out to a loyal friend n my unofficial partner in sobriety n he reminds me that I’m enof, and tells me to do something special for myself, as self care is SO important n often overlooked
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Hi — Jennifer — just talking to someone about that same issue.
For me it depends if I truly care for and about them. If this is the case I try to wait to do anything. At least a day. If is still an issue I will usually talk to my sponsor about it.
If it is someone I don’t know or are not involved with I usually wait a lot longer than a day and if it still hanging on it is probably something you alone need to work on.
Just my thoughts and life experience in AA and out. Since I stopped drinking I do feel more sensitive than when I was drinking. Kiki
As someone who struggles with depression, I have to remind myself all the time that I am living under the grace of our creator, and his love and acceptance is all I need I don’t need anything from anybody else
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For me personally I try to respond according to my faith: God gives me worth, not persons. I try to explain in short order what has hurt my feelings, and let the person know that I expect better treatment. I also remember that however I am feeling, alcohol will make me feel worse. You matter Jennifer, and you have great intrinsic value. Also going to the gym to work through emotions helps me a bunch. Glad you're here!
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Thank you for the kind words. Trying really really hard to not feel “less than” right now
Thank you for the suggestions.
We are here to love you until you can love yourself Jennifer​:love_you_gesture:
đź«‚:sun_with_face:
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