I went to a bar last night with sober friends to hear music. The music was good but I wanted to leave. I hated every minute of it tbh. I’m dating & don’t know how to date anyone that still drinks. I know there are healthy people that can, but I’m not sure how I will feel going out & that is something presented.
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Rarely
Worry about you until the right time. You will know when you are ready. Good luck and don’t drink!
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As difficult as dating is in general, without the added weight of early recovery, it’s best to avoid dating for the first year. It’s just not that important and if it is, if it’s too difficult to be alone (not in a romantic relationship), that might be something you want to unpack with your sponsor or therapist to understand why you’re not comfortable unless you’re in a relationship. There are plenty of ways to not feel alone without the added stress of romance! And you’ll probably learn a lot about yourself by abstaining from romantic relationships for a while.
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The last thing I worry about is being ing a relationship! Right now it’s about me!!!
So you just don’t
So two comments here… 1) I work in the liquor business and can attest that much of the “fun” activities while drinking are no longer 1/10th as fun sober. Bars serve almost no purpose. Now that said I went to a trivia thing this afternoon with three friends- two girls and a guy… we had a great time and I was the only non-drinker. So the activity really matters. 2) dating is really tough and there’s a lot of reasons why. Your dating pool- likely already limited for one reason or another- is about to shrink more. Whether you intend to date those who drink or not, the fact is as a sober person it’s gonna be a more uphill effort than before. Our dating culture is set up around alcohol and being abstinent is going to set you apart, awkwardly.
I wish I had solutions but all I can say is that I keep trying and when it doesn’t work out I won’t get down on myself. I wish there was a more accessible singles “scene” in sobriety but until there is I focus on hobbies/activities I enjoy regardless, friendships and not letting failed dating attempts bring me down. I met someone really great recently who was sober off drugs but found out she wanted to keep drinking, and was really pretty awful while drunk (she was oblivious, and it was a turn off). That was a shame and left me feeling like dating was futile. I know it isn’t, though- it can’t be- so I’m gonna keep my cool and focus on healthy and productive actions and I hope/trust something right will come along. I hope to see some creative ideas here and appreciate your question! Wishing you luck, sorry for the long response 
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I have 22 months sobriety and I still am not comfortable with some people, places and things. I haven’t sat at a bar at all because I honestly can’t watch people drink. I can’t do large parties with a lot of alcohol because I don’t trust myself. I have two friends now dying from liver failure so I need to do what I need to do now.
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I have recently found out that there are sites you can go in and find sober activities, my fellowship friends have said to check it out because it’s the same fun minus the alcohol and drunks.
My situation is different. I’m in recovery for other things & have been working on this for 14 years. I cut out alcohol for my brain health.
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I haven’t gone to a bar sober yet. Not sure if that’s something I’ll ever do. As for dating I’ve given this to my higher power, God. It’s all in divine time. I’m attracting those who are on the same energy level. I’ve been working on myself for the last past year. I love myself so now I can love others. The right one will show up when I least expect it.
Good luck and try not to force it. Love will find you.
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There’s a lot of people in this world surprisingly that don’t drink. I thought everyone did until I got sober and started looking around.
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I had to change my playmates and playgrounds. Continuous sobriety (one day at a time) brought me new ones.
Yeah it can be a bit tricky early on but time has helped in my case. Also letting the person know where you’re at with alcohol beforehand helps.
Sorry last night was a challenge. I had a very opposite evening at the Greek where my pals etc were drinking and smoking and it didn’t bother me. I think I accepted long before I knew I had a real issue that one day I would have enough drinks and just because I have doesn’t mean others have met that limit. I stole that from Elvis Costello
Hang in there and reach out if you’re ever in need of a sober ninja/pal in LA
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No longer on the market for dating. Thanks to recovery and the community. I met my partner in recovery and we’re coming up on 4 years together. I’d say be genuine and they’ll notice.
I was on the dating apps, and really only found them useful if they allowed me to filter by drinking habits. Otherwise, the people I met were either worse than me, or just plain boring.
I just decided to give that stuff a break for now. Let it happen when it happens.
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Put yourself first
Sober 3 years and have been ready and dating. It sucks. Most people don’t get it.
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I am 10 years sober and I find it difficult to find many people who don’t drink. I dated early on really early on and it was not good . Stay true to yourself
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