How do you deal with getting sober and your wife

How do you deal with getting sober and your wife and family members still drinking? How do you just accept that and still be around them?

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Wow I’m about to go through this myself. I know I’m an alcoholic but realized it’s not my wife’s fault and it’s not fair for her to have a wine now and then. Years ago I was single trying to stop drinking. Now it will be harder. Plus there is a local place we go that has live bands now. She loves it. I can’t deprive her of that because I have the problem. Going to take a lot of self control.

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It feels impossible.

I’m a lot older not. At a younger age it would seem that way.

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Since I accept my alcoholism and know what happens to me when I I drink, I keep the focus on that. I love being sober and having that mental clarity that I dont have when I am not clean and sober….

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It took some time for sure to be able to be around drinking and not participate. I made sure to bring non-alcoholic drinks that I enjoy when this was tough for me to deal with. At the end of the day, realize a few things... there is little escaping those who drink if your family is like my own. Also realize it is VERY possible. If you tell yourself it is impossible it will remain as such. The mind is the most powerful tool we've got. Use it to its fullest ability.

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This is true. I’ve only tried to get sober once before, and it was on my own- no AA. I tried non alcoholic beer and it just reminded me of what I couldn’t have, and honestly tasted like a beer that had sat opened in the fridge for days! Maybe trying other things outside of those would help. Thank you for the help

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FWIW, the NA beers are WAAAAY better now. It's like the brewers collectively realized there was a market for it. Not the same, but I don't feel [as] deprived when I have a few guys over for a game. It's not always the easiest, though. Good luck!!

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Last I tried was a year ago, so it doesn’t hurt to give it another shot! Any recommendations?

The Lagunitas ipNa gets better every year. I didn't like their first version, but the subsequent years have been better. I really enjoy Heineken Zero, but you have to like Heineken (I think they taste pretty close to identical). The Athletic beers are hit and miss. I've never been a Grolsch guy, so those style NAs aren't for me. Last January, I counted 25 DIFFERENT NA beers at my local Whole Foods. Even in non-dry-Jan months, they've consistently had 10-15. If you can find Barrel Brothers, they have a great Hazy NA.

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Thanks man I appreciate it! I’ll give some a try

Having a can of something in my hand has been helpful. Liquid Death is my go to. I can’t do the N/A stuff because it just leads me down a dangerous path, so either soda or liquid death is what I tend to go with.

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You have to Make a COMMITMENT TO GET AND STAY SOBER REGARDLESS OF WHO GETS SOBER WITH YOU.... You can do it. Not easy but Doable

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Oh. BTW. :100: PERCENT SOBRIETY MEANS. NO NEAR BEER. PEOPLE WHO DO THAT DEAL WITH A ALCOHOLIC PERSONALITY/ ALSO UNTREATED ALCOHOLISM. COMPLETE ABSTINENCE IS THE BEST PRACTICE. I WOULDN'T LISTEN TO THAT KIND OF STUFF. IM IN YEAR 36 AND HAVE SEEN WELL INTENDED PEOPLE STAY IN RELAPSE OR REALLY NEVER GOT INTO RECOVERY IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE OF NEAR BEER. THEY ARE NO LONGER AROUND

There’s a saying in the rooms. Non-alcoholic beer is for non-alcoholics.

You don’t need to do anything alone to get sober. I joined a 12 step program but there are many alternatives for you to explore.

And I found that most other people who themselves were not alcoholic, supported me and did not drink around me for several years! People I never asked, voluntarily abstained in order to make my life easier.

You don't have to accept bad behavior for sure, but once you're free you can see others drinking poison and definitely not want that crud in your body. Fruit juices, ginger beer, cream soda are all delicious drinks that won't poison you.