How do you move past the shame?
I'm not a meeting kind of person; I had a bad experience and that left a bad taste in my mouth for AA. No offense please for those it works for. I already had trust issues and having someone get in my face in what should have been a safe space ... I never went back.
Hi Arie, shame is a personal emotion. I feel no shame but more embarrassed. People should look in the mirror first. I'm not a big fan of the 12 steps but go to the meetings for a feeling of accountability. Your other post mentioned therapy work before. Why don't you try it again? You can also try a different meeting they are all a little different.
Hi Charlie, I'm actually in therapy and have been for the last 3 years. I've thought about maybe a zoom meeting so I can be a wallflower.
Go to a different meeting. It’s not an AA thing. It’s a you ran into an Ahole thing. They are all over in the world. Don’t use it as an excuse to not get help.
That's part of what's nice about apps. You can ne a wallflower and still get responses. You can do that at AA also. I rarely participate. I have my coffee and listen. My IOP was my zoom and I didn't like it. They have them here but I have never attended. Wedad knows more about them. Look her up. If I can help I will. Reach out anytime God knows I won't judge. I'm still walking.
Thanks Shawn, that's the honest truth. He was definitely an Ahole. I'm on day 5 this time around. And my first big success was getting through the grocery store without buying a bottle of wine. I kept hearing in the back of my head my 10 year old daughter say "Ugh, why can't we go to the store without you going to the wine section?" ... I'm trying, one step at a time.
Thank you Seth. Sometimes it's helpful to be reminded that it's not all about me. I'm hoping that by being here I can be real about me and learn from others too.
Hey Arie. Have you tried NA or another kind of fellowship. Again nothing against AA but I feel NA gets down to the nitty gritty of recovery. They truly tell it like it is and when I share in a meeting I feel apart of the meeting and don’t feel any shame when sharing.
Thanks Alexa, no I haven't. I may look into that.
Hey Arie,
No shame Darlin! I haven't worked a traditional program in 12 yrs. However, in early recovery I did..I had to shop around! There's good and bad meetings and ppl. are still gonna be ppl. No matter where you go. You take the good and leave the rest. Honestly tho it is a we program. I'm an isolater and I had to make myself go. But Between God, thoroughly working my steps (A few times lol!) the meetings and my sponsor, it literally saved my life and not to mention the promises!! My cup is so full today...
The steps . 
if there was another way we would do it but I don’t know another way for a real alcoholic . And not saying whatever happened was right but people make mistakes and situations happen doesn’t make it all good or bad. AA is run by humans like everything else it’s not perfect. I found more good than bad because I had no other choice. Just my experience . Hope you find what works for you. And if there is a secret you find please share with me . Good luck 