How do YOU set boundaries to protect your sobriety? Maybe this isn’t relevant for those who aren’t in the early stages, but I definitely have told a few “friends” I can’t visit bc I don’t know if I can handle the temptations yet! And sticking up for myself feels great, but I also find myself feeling guilty for avoiding certain people and situations.
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Anna, welcome to sobriety and Loosid. What a wonderful question. I had a hard time putting up boundaries in early recovery. Especially with family. I would end up with a resentment rather then put up a boundary, so silly. However, now that I’m a few years into this, new way of life, I’m putting up boundaries, not only with others, but with my self as well.
Letting your friends know that your in recovery and can’t be around them when they are still drinking/using is a beautiful boundary. Pray to your higher power to remove the guilty feeling. You’ve made the best decision of your life, getting and wanting to to be sober.
I had to change everything about me. Friends, music, my thoughts, how I talked to myself and others, what I eat, exercise, what I do with my spare time and I even picked up reading as a hobby.
DBT skills is a good skill for boundaries and how to handle situation without adding injury to self. I did a introductory course at my mental hospital when I first got sober, it was part of my treatment program.
Stay sober my friend.
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You shouldn’t feel guilty about protecting yourself, or your sobriety. I avoided people and places that were triggers for me… I still do. And if those people who call themself friends can not adjust, or respect that after being informed, do you really need that right now? Or ever? I look out for myself and make sure my yard is clean. I am always polite when telling someone I am sober but I don’t bend when it comes to any pressure.
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Great question. I was lucky that my friends didn't care, plus, I'm a little older and boring!
If you feel like you don't want to talk about it, just nominate yourself as DDriver!
Personally, I was just up front about it w people. Or said something like "I don't drink bc I used to like it way too much" or whatever
I can understand for younger people having difficulty in social situations, but my boundaries were all within myself - meaning I used to remind myself how good it will feel later on and the next day if I didn't do it.
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Hi Anna , welcome to your new journey! Like you I’m young also fairly new into this sobriety journey , I’m 25 years old and a binge drinker . I find it hard because emits of my friends usually enjoy going out on weekends and doing what usual “normies” do. Which is fine , because they’re not alcoholics, but I’m glad and admire that you recognize what situations are best and not best to put yourself in , remember that sobriety is your number one priority now , try to be kind to yourself , the people who really care for u will understand you taking a step back from certain things and situations that’ will jeopardize your sobriety, you got this 
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I set my boundary, without explaining myself, and most people don’t question it. If anyone routinely ignores your boundaries, or belittles you for setting them, leave them behind.
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Totally agree with this. Nobody needs to constantly tell everyone they are in recovery all the time, because nobody really wants to hear that all the time. If the people you're hanging out with aren't close enough to you to know this about you, then maybe you don't really have to hang out with them. Difference between wants and needs.
This right where I am at cause I just can’t have one 1 is too many and thousand isn’t enough
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People, places, and things.... i'm sober 10 1/2 years and life is good. It's not perfect but that is OK. I rebuilt a successful business and am sending 2 daughters now to college. I never forget when I was first trying to get sober I was told to be aware of people, places, and things that could jeopardize my sobriety. Whereas I have no desire to drink now fortunately , and I am well aware that I cannot drink alcohol, I must take my sobriety one day at a time. I don't share with most people that I'm an alcoholic. Some notice I don't drink and I tell them that I stopped many years ago because I wasn't taking good care of myself. I'm still aware of the people around me, the places I may go, and things that could trigger my desire for a drink. I treasure my sobriety in my life and I have to make sure that I do everything possible to keep it that way. Sobriety for an alcoholic is the key to a good life!
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This is life and death. WHATEVER you need to stay safe and sober is more important than anything.
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Love myself enough to set clear boundaries and stick to them!!!!
I recently set a boundary with the way my husband conducted himself towards me. As well as expressed needs of mine in our relationship. He didn't respect my boundary and after 14 years I told him I needed a break. As hard as that was, it was necessary for my sobriety. Boundaries help me express my love for myself/self worth.
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