How does one cope when having a non supportive spouse

How does one cope when having a non supportive spouse who has literally said they have done nothing but judge you since they found out you were an addict. An even still does so when you have been in complete recovery for 9 months, including being in an out-patient program.
Any advice?

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That's pretty toxic. Are they open to counseling?

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I have offered it and even set it up with my counselors but seems to have no interest

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If I was with someone in that situation, and I set up counseling to make it work, and they weren't interested then I would think they weren't interested in me (us).

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And that's exactly what I have said to him, and to make the situation even worse I have found out that he has been talking to some other women on a daily basis (more than he even talks to me at this point). I have stated why he is still with me if he clearly would rather be with her, I have even asked him to leave at this point because he will not stop talking with this other women even tho I have asked countless times now but yet he won't leave either and claims he does not plan on leaving me and will never leave me (or divorce me) and I do not have anywhere else to go considering i moved 14 hrs away from my family so that he could be with his so idk what to do at this point.

Ugh. Super one sided = hostage situation.....

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Sorry you're going through this. I do understand some of it :pensive:

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Sorry I meant going through something similar I did write that good the first time. I know it can be really frustrating

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I found out I was married to a narcissist and left. I don’t see how that is loving at all. No one will live under my roof who is not 100% on my side. Are they supportive in other ways?

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This sounds like a 14 hour trip back to your family to me. You need to keep your sobriety first. Next, NOBODY deserves to be in a situation where their boundaries and requests are being completely ignored or sht on. Take care of your self and your own health.

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If I were you I would read about narcissists and see if he is one. Either way he shows no respect. They will keep you around to abuse you more and make you dependent on them so you can’t leave and are very controlling.

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Strength Within is a Facebook support group I am in. The leader is Dr Heidi Jo. Something. She has some great podcasts. I was depressed and slept all the time. That helped me figure it out.

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Time tAkes time . I’ve learned my yr clean doesn’t make up for the many yrs of damage I’ve done . Say ve done 10,000 things wrong to her . In the past year I’ve done about 364 things right . I got 9,636 things to still make up for . For me consistency, dependability, honesty with self n the damage I’ve created, having a net work , working steps and .. a very wise person once told me … “A wise man once said …Nothing” My actions are my words today . That’s all I can do . Be the best version of myself . Good luck . Your headed in the right direction. Keep asking for help n guidance

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I’m in the same boat

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I ended up with a divorce.

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Thank you to all of you for your thoughts and words on the matter, they mean so much to me!

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I’m sorry to hear that your husband is hurting you. Focus on your recovery first and maybe talk to A professional counselor to give you advice on what to do to help your marriage. It’s sounds like your all in but he’s not, it’s a painful place to be and you deserve better.

When I quit drinking my husband didn’t.. he gave me no support.. plus he was a mean drunk.. I finally had to get away from him.. I made a lot of bad decisions afterwards tho that lead me to drugs.. where I lost everything.. but if you can’t get along get apart.. no sense in being abused..

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