How long does this guilty feeling last and how will I know when my wife truly forgives me?
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It takes a while my brother. First, congrats on making it to reaching the Michael Jordan milestone of days…#23! Was it just drinking/drugging, or is there more? How many times have you put her thru this? There are lots of variables, but it’s a process
My best advice for breaking the habit of guilty feelings is to purposefully think of things about yourself that you can more easily feel good about right away.
Let go of thinking about yourself in terms of the addiction, or even in terms of what your wife thinks about you. Cause, even if she’s never added to the addiction struggle, her own struggles can get in the way of seeing you as whole right now. Her thoughts and feelings are habits, too.
The faster YOU get to loving you, the faster she will, too.
What do you love about you?
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Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. I've read this more than a few times and know your right. It's hard though because usually I can fix things I mess up pretty quick but not so much this time.
What SoFlo Lee said.
I was a beer drinker in the evening time. Out in the garage working on our son's go kart, tinkering with my truck, drinking beer with the neighbor guys, smoking bbq, watching football. You know, what I thought all guys did. It wasn't until I was telling my Dr. How much I drank that I thought " geez.. I think I may have a problem." So I stopped. Then I saw how much time my wife
Was alone. That's why I feel guilty I think. Now I'm asking her "aren't you bored? Let's go do something." Which is met with serious stink eye.
Have your wife speak to my wife…your wife will think you’re a saint 
Seriously tho, she’s probably been feeling neglected, betrayed, and taken for granted for a long time. Just keep showing up everyday. Walk the walk. Speak less about it and do more about it. It’s a second chance, and you can make things right. Allow her the time to heal. This a process for everyone. Time will tell
It took my wife months to not feel like I was playing a long con on her. The guilt goes away eventually. What I did was NOT try to fix things with her, just focus on fixing myself. Just be there, in whatever she needs when she asks. Like Lee said my wife would think you are a saint… lol. But he is also right that she most likely feels neglected, hurt, pushed to the side. If the foundation is strong, all can be rebuilt.
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Sound advice. Thanks man, gonna use these words as a roadmap
Man! Your spot on. Especially about thinking it's a con. I thought since I was The one that realized I was drinking too much that she would be happy. Turns out she had some things to say eerily similar to what you said. Thanks.
We may never know if they have completely forgiven us for a while but I practice living amends. I try to make sure I acknowledge every day how much l want them in my life and how much I care. I can’t fix the past I can only try to do better for today.
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I lashed out and hurt someone I love who is struggling. I’m terrified, it’s my rock bottom, but I don’t know if I can come back from it. He’s also an alcoholic in relapse.
I know I need to heal myself and we should take space. I just wish I could apologize, maybe I can write a letter. I know staying sober thru this will be excruciating but I never want to push people away again.
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I realized I needed help as well… and never realized the gaslighting, lying, con games I played on her, because I was so deep in the addiction. Now… we are stronger then ever. It took time to rebuild the trust.
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I had the same thought about not knowing if I gonna be able to make things right. Actually the thought is still happening.
I just want to stay sober so I never repeat my behavior. I hope that can be a start. I am sure with time your wife will forgive and you can be happier.
Thank you. Being new to this I'm not great at offering good advice but I hope things work out for you as well. I do know that I also want to avoid past behavior.
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You have to be open to the possibility that she may never forgive you. But show her every day that she is important and you are trying. Trust is a huge ask in the beginning and it will be frustrating for a while for both of you. As far as the guilt… it gets better but only after it gets hella worse… but every single bit of it is worth it.
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Being open to that possibility is a thought I struggle with. I know your right,though.