I had to learn the lesson of having or putting ANY expectations on ANY aspect in life an Excessively Hard Way!!! Actually a million times over, DESPITE being told WHY I kept getting disappointed by people, places things, circumstances, events, and etc.... But one day I finally understood. Now first let me say this: I'm horrible with putting my thoughts and comprehension of something (that was so difficult for me to learn and wrap my mind around) and try to explain in words. But I'm going to try as best as I can.
Expecting ANYTHING from life or people is putting out standards on those things/persons. And 99.999% NOTHING is going to go EXACTLY as you or I plan. Whether it's how others behave or a place we go, an event we attend, or a trip we take, and sometimes even our own words and/or reactions/actions (Because we too are still human- just humans in recovery).
And that being said, if you look at all those things in our everyday life and in every moment of our lives; I guarantee you that something doesn't/didn't go as planned. Something goes/went bad every day but sometimes we may not notice because the good we experienced during the day/moment outweighs the bad.
So the biggest thing to look at is our perspective.
Truth is that we can only control two things at any given moment:
1.} Our attitude in the moment (Our non-verbal and verbal actions/reactions and our perspective/outlook/insight of the situation/circumstance/moment)
2.} And our effort in the moment. (The Quantity/Amount of effort we give, the Object/Goal we choose to put our Effort towards, and the Quality/Efficiency of our Effort.)
We could look at ALL of the things that go WRONG. -OR- We can look at the things that go RIGHT!
We could put OUR expectations and beliefs on things and others in life and/or of life itself; causing us to live in disappointment ALL or MOST of the time. -OR- We can ride the waves with an idea of a plan but also have an UNDERSTANDING that WE are living LIFE on LIFE'S terms. Realizing NOTHING is guaranteed except the EXACT moment we are living in. Not even all of today is guaranteed.
Then I realized this and stopped having a BLACK or WHITE - ALL or NOTHING attitude/perspective {Where I had expections of every outcome/situation/event/place/person, ect. to be either Great, Good, Bad, or Horrible.}.
I began living life in HOPE, PEACE, SERENITY and GRATITUDE!!
Because when things didn't go well and/or as I planned and/or people didn't respond or behave as I thought they should or would; I had less anger, resentment disappointment, frustration, stress, guilt, hate, low self-esteem, pain and suffering. Which began to help me to develope compassion, understanding, and resilience.
I came to know calming SERENITY by understanding and knowing that I wasn't responsible for or in control of others behaviors, words, actions, ect.
I learned HOPE by hoping for Good but also PEACE in knowing it might not but I will still be ok; As long as I lay my head on the pillow Clean and sober! And I came to be GRATEFUL for positive outcomes and see them as BLESSINGS. But also GRATITUDE for negative outcomes and see them as LESSONS not setbacks.
Because as long as I don't pick up that first one, I'm not back at the starting line again!!
