How to get partner who has never used any substance to understand addiction recovery?? It’s been extremely difficult for our relationship lately because he holds a lot of resentment and anger towards me for all that I put him through during my active addiction days. Which I totally understand that he’s hurt and his patience has run thin by now, but how am I supposed to show change and be a better person if I’m constantly being criticized and lectured about things I’ve done when I was “high”. He doesn’t even praise me or notice little things that I’ve changed. It’s almost like he’s expecting and waiting for me to “mess up” again…. It’s very discouraging
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You are still early in sobriety. Right now be gentle with yourself. Alanon is a group he can go to. They support those who love addicts and teach them how to deal with us. He will never know what it is like to be an addict… how could he? It’s okay if he doesn’t. Think about it from his point of view… for how long has he felt with your insanity of addiction? It’s kind of like Stockholm syndrome. He’s used to you one way, treating him a certain way, acting a certain way…and now has to learn about a whole new person. Give him time, show him you are changing for the better. Be patient. It took my wife 6 months to start to come around. Now… our relationship is way stronger. She still doesn’t understand why I can not have just one drink. But that’s okay. She doesn’t need to, as long as I am honest with her, and we communicate. It does get better, and easier with time. You were not an addict over night. It’s not going to get better over night. Good luck.
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Seriously alanon is a good tool for him and you both. Give him time, you are going to have to rebuild a lot of trust. Give grace and be patient.
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Usually they do not understand. Keep it simple.
The less you talk to non user .better off you will be. They do not understand. aa