I just don't understand why he did this or how he could do this. I don't understand how he played the role so well. Like an actor in a movie. He made the audience (me, Ashton, Amelia) believe he was such a nice guy. Because in the movie he was great. He was everything you wanted. But behind the scenes. Oh God. Behind the scenes he's more than despicable. More than disgusting. More than evil. I had the devil living in my home. Sleeping in my bed the first 4-7 years. And I couldn't see it. I couldn't see the evil inside him. I only saw the potential. Which the potential was just my idea of what he could be. It wasn't real. Or realistic. I just don't understand how people are like this. Or why he chose my family. Or if he chose my family for my daughter from day one. I just need answers. But idk how to get them. Because I don't want actual contact with him. I just need to understand somehow. And nobody is going to have answers for me but him. But he'll probably never be honest about anything more than what he has to.
I’m so so sorry. Hugs
Narcissist tend to be drawn to empaths. Being an empath you can't avoid this. The best that you can do is be aware of this and be extra vigilant. It is in our nature to be overly trusting. Life has taught us better yet we still listen to our dysfunctional heart.
It is hard. Seemingly impossible at times but you have to learn to trust your heart less. Your feelings and emotions less. Studying stoicism is the best help I have found yet. It is so far from natural to me but the more I fill my mind with the stoic values, which are polar opposite the empath, the more I find balance. I do hope this helps you. I am so sorry for your pain. Evil is real, monsters do exist.
You deserve better🩷
I'm going to look into that. Thanks for the suggestion!
100% right now I don't care about finding anyone. I just want my kids to enjoy life. But if I meet someone. I won't ignore red flags again.
No problem. Also if you don't use audible, you can download a good audio book called Empath/Narcissist for free.
Good looking out 
Only 1-2% of the population are empaths. 98% of the population is empathic, can and do show empathy.