Last night I put a spike in my arm and before I could get off the needle broke off in my vein. I freaked out and proceeded to dig it out. P!ssed off to the max! Then I woke up.
This is the kind of using dreams I have if I ever have them being sober for awhile now. I never enjoy the using in the dreams and always they are tragic.
Point being, I can’t remember the last time I had a using dream that was ever enjoyable or welcomed. Don’t know if it’s from loving sobriety or my higher powers intervention. Thing is, it’s just a dream. No meaning. Not real. Yet, when dreams like this do happen, I’m more than grateful for my life today knowing that spike will never again enter my life in the real world. Nor that bottle in my neck! Sobriety is a gift from God that I know governs my will today. Easy peasy. Turning it over constantly works best. I figure if it works for me, gotta work for others. Even acting as if has a way of rubbing off in time. Just don’t pick up and life is guaranteed to eventually be kind your way.
One last point, today was my oldest son’s birthday. Been divorced over 3 years now and it wasn’t a pretty one. Yet, 4 kids between us with grands in the mix, we actually had an amicable dinner with him and daughter and my 9 month old buddy. Loves the bejeevies out of me. Not many words were said between us. Yet, was finally a loving atmosphere of family togetherness. Another reward of letting time heal and sobriety reign. Didn’t hurt seeing her again either being the fox she always was and is. Glad we at least have moved past the ugly and letting the kids love flourish. At least the healing is now in the mix. Will never be together again and I’m ok with it. Took awhile. Yet at least I know my ability to still be a loving man still remains. Scars can heal as long as love is never turned off. It’s all about family.