I am 80 days sober today. I feel better in every way, BUT I threw my back out yesterday, so I am in pain. Also, my emotional health is struggling today. There is a lyric in a song that I really like that hit hard today.
"I feel nothing, as I take my last drag. Snort the biggest pile, put my head in a plastic bag. I don't want to die, I just want to disappear. I thought I was so transparent. Clearly, I'm so unclear. No one understands me, I doubt they ever will. So, I'll stay on the powder, the drink, and the pain pills. Get my sh#t in order and sign my last will and testament. With resentment for the past forty-five years.
I knew it was over and done for
When they stopped pickin' up the phone.
Only your oldest and best friends can make you feel so alone. "
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My advice is to maybe chill on the music. Meditation is a great way to get your mind back. Couple of minutes is all it takes. Ask for a help dealing with your current situation. I think you'll be surprised who answers
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