I am ashamed of myself. I want to stop drinking. Why do I go back to it? I said the STUPIDEST things yesterday while drunk in front of my “boyfriend” and his friend. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I was rude. And I’m just so unhappy. I wish I had sober friends or love
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Just keep moving forward, you can do it! Maybe try to hit an AA meeting tonight.
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Oh ya I embraced myself many thousands of times while drinking! Finally I got sick of being my own worst enemy and decided to go ALL IN on AA. And I mean 1,000% in! I didn’t like AA or the people at first. I felt like my fun life was over. But I started participating in the meetings and actually talked to AA people and created an awesome life. I soon found out that my fun just began and my drinking life was total 
. My only regret was not doing it sooner.
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Perfect move. Get your recovery group expanded. I don’t know what I would do without mine.
Those feelings will pass. Alcohol is patient. It can’t wait for you to forget about all the embarrassing things that happen. Been there and done that. All any of us have is today. Just don’t drink or drug today.
Keeping it 100, you should (IMO) hold on to that feeling, that memory, as a "don't want to do THAT ever again!". Embrace the suck and grow from it.
We will Love you until you love yourself