Hi Melanie, have you tried any zoom meetings? Could be less formal and intimidating. You don't have to turn your camera on or speak until you're ready, , if you don't want to. I got sober on zoom meetings, the people in my home group are welcoming and very supportive. Every day we do a sponsorship announcement to offer those needing support in finding one.
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I have found that going to a new meeting is like the first day on a job or first day of school. You don't know anyone and everyone is a little shy. But after a few days or even a couple of weeks, you start to recognize people and remember what they shared at previous meetings. A familiarity starts to form and then from there, friendships and sobriety bonds start happening. But you have to show up and give it the time to happen! It's your responsibility to keep showing up for yourself. If you do that, you will experience what you are desiring.
Good luck!
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Check for LifeRing meetings in your area, LifeRing is more fitting for me instead of AA/NA. The AA/NA meetings in my area are strange.
All AA meetings are strange. Embrace it and just go with it. Go to different ones until you find one that your comfortable with. I can't stand the I'm "powerless" god will help you stuff of it all (I mean if there was a god or if there is, and he gave a sh+t, would we even be in this mess?), but I have met alot of very sincere people that really care how you're doing. I even made a traditional meeting my home group, even though I do go to as many secular meetings as possible, and I like those meetings much better, no praying no zombie brain dead cult feel etc. Every meeting is. It the same vibe, keep searching them out. Best of luck!
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Ok. Thank you everyone.
I am sorry that lady you asked to help you blew you off by saying that she currently had too many sponsees. That was really wrong. Please try and going to another meeting and asking someone else for help.
I would have never gotten sober and undoubtedly been dead by now if I had not met someone who helped me early on. The fellowship aspect of the program can not be understated. I get drunk we stay sober
Have you looked into refuge recovery? It was a much better fit for me. Remember there is no perfect answer just one that works for you. It can be anything or a combination of multiple approaches.
Yes You are supposed to feel welcomed....have you ever tried an online meeting they are different but sometimes we feel more comfortable and safe at home....so maybe u will hear something that just clicks...or Adult Children of Alcoholics or CODA....I am actually an addict and go to NA but also go to AA sometimes also just as long as Im working on ME learbing all I can about addiction triggers and mental illness that has gotten me to where I am today....dont be so hard on yourself you are here and trying and thats an amazing START
Not for me. Too god heavy though you can replace "god" with things like "higher power," "positive energy," or "mother nature," it still never worked for me.
Google Refuge Recovery. It's been incredibly helpful to me.
I'd also recommend anyone early in recovery to check out Brook Recovery in Abington, MA. I've been attending 4 days a week (mix of zoom) and in person and it has been excellent.
Denial is very prevalent in keeping people from accepting the first step! It isn’t until we admit to ourselves that we are powerless over Alcohol ! This starts the recovery journey ! It doesn’t matter where you turn for ur answers , if you don’t admit it ! Rarely have we seen a person fail who has throughly followed our path !
Ugh. So. It’s that exact kind of thing and attitude that doesn’t help. If I was in denial, I wouldn’t be sitting there at all. It isn’t a welcoming environment as it should be. When you arrive, if you are new, they should have a person who introduces themselves and says “I know this is hard. Stay and just listen if that’s all you want to do.”
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I just have to say…I haven’t been to a meeting yet and this is EXACTLY why I’m putting it off.
I’m thinking I’m going to ask someone to go with me.
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Sorry Melanie you need to get off ur pity pot and get ur thinking straight ! Stop and listen to others who have gone before you and succeeded in their recovery ! Our only purpose in too help others who r still suffering and get them on the right road to recovery ! Nothing I’m telling you is meant to degrade you or demeanor you , I want you to succeed , which you will ! I know it can be difficult at first , it’s baby steps , recovery is a process it takes time ! All of us in recovery don’t have any hidden agendas to sabotage ur recovery , just the opposite, easy does it ! Attend meetings listen and when u hear someone u believe to be safe ask them to be ur sponsor .cheers
I did listen to many, many stories. The current model does not work for all. I don’t know if it’s introverts or there’s different levels/types of addiction that haven’t been identified and sorted yet that might be the issue, but it does not work for all. As much as you try to convince me it’s inclusive, I have many examples of how it is not. I want nothing more than something to work. I don’t have 5 years to wait to see if it sticks. I’m not on a high horse. I’m on the lowest horse there is.
If I wanted to get sober I wouldn’t let anything deter me from my goal. I always tell newcomers that it is always your next meeting that is your most important. I could compare myself out of a meeting but it was much easier to look for the similarities. Maybe try some speaker meetings to see how you are similar to other alcoholics.
I am not letting the meetings keep me from getting sober. Instead, I’m doing a bunch of other things such as being on Naproxen, counseling, etc. I’m just saying…..it would be nice if a few meetings a week would also work for me. I’m jealous. That’s it.
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Yeah, I couldn't do them either. I went initially but just didn't feel right. First thought it was "just me", but since being on here learned its not that uncommon. Maybe I'm one of the lucky ones that got sober without it, but I found more peace and inspiration from other resources.
Melanie, as a couple of others have mentioned, maybe try a different kind of meeting. I go to recovery Dharma meetings and I usually enjoy them. They're similar to refuge recovery. We do a 20 minute meditation in the beginning, which I find very helpful. It helps to slow down, get in touch with, and strengthen the mind. I have a meeting I go regularly to, on Zoom. I'm an introverted, quieter person myself and sometimes find it hard to share, but I've also gotten a lot of supporting catharsis. Admitting aloud to others and yourself can be powerful. It helps to keep yourself accountable. It's a practice. There's also lifering, and smart recovery. I couldn't do AA either, I have many problems with it. Best of luck to you 
Go to Zoom meetings. No talking unless you choose to share. Obviously no standing!
I dont personally care for AA so I don't go. Find something you enjoy and youre more likely to stick with it.