I am so addicted that I physically end up in the hospital for my drug of choice constantly and my drug of trace makes me so sick but yet I still have to do it. What is wrong with me?
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There is nothing wrong with you as a person - that is just the disease of addiction. It is so powerful that it makes us chase the one thing that slowly k*lls us. You can do this, though. I know you can get sober.
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You’re not alone trust me, keep fighting, that’s what I’m doing, hardest part is restless legs constant tingling, no sleep, and working a full time job makes it harder, we are all behind you with this, stay strong stay motivated I’m 3 days in almost and it is a WILD ZOO ride but we need to get better for family and most important our selfs 
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Nothing is “wrong” with you, this is the grip of addiction, and it’s brutal. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to fight it by yourself. We are here for you!