I am so mad at myself. I take full accountability. I want to blame the situation, the person, everything. Reality is, none of those thing control me. I do and I made the decision. No hang over, just pure anxiety from drinking and from the situation. The pain of what happen and seeing someone you deeply love show their true colors. Thats a hard pill to swallow. I have wasted a year of my life trying to love someone who is only capable of loving himself. My choices in men should be a disability.
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You gained some insight. You can concentrate on lifting YOURSELF up now that you're not attached to this person. Start fresh! Do you!
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Everything feels so heavy right now. I know eventually ill find my positivity and this will all just be a lesson learned. It just hurts so deeply
There is no waste of time. It’s all about learning something you can use in the future. I have learned way more from failure than success. Head up. Stay strong for you. Not others
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It seems you were able to add humor to the situation with your last comment which is great. (If I’m misreading it then I apologize 
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I agree with Jay. Focus on you. It took me a hot minute (and some setbacks…) to figure that out but once I got there it’s been really good! Sending positive vibes!
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I did try lol. Thank you both for your support
I love the statement “my choices in men should be a disability”… you summed up my life 
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Aya, it seems you are learning from your experiences and that is great! No reason to be mad at yourself. Thats just a waste of time and energy.
In all my seemingly bad relationships and experiences I’ve learned what I want and don’t want. Plus I’ve learned that I’m totally fine being alone. It’s all good. 
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Personally I know I love to hard and honest. I love fully and blindly. I need to absolutely work on protecting my peace and enforcing my boundaries and expectations no matter what. Its going to be a process in its own but Im determine and instead of living to please others Im focusing on me.....if all else fails...girl imma get a cat 
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I also love your statement “my choices in men should be a disability.” Keep your head up. It hurts to lose someone you love. I lost my husband and everything I owned. Eventually it led me to God and I started seeing how I worshipped my husband, my cars, even my clothes and jewelry (and drugs) over God. The first commandment is that you shall have no other Gods before God. I was making a lot of things God to myself. ESPECIALLY my husband. I was not even acknowledging God the whole time I was married. Not pushing my beliefs on you (although as a Christian I am called to encourage others to Come to Christ) I’m just sharing what I experienced. Once I accepted Jesus and started building a relationship with God his love wrapped me up like a warm blanket and I felt that emptiness (the void) become filled. I hope I’m not offending anyone. Again, I’m not pushing my beliefs on anybody. I just believe in the power of God.
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I know that laughter can be the best medicine sometimes, so please allow me to bring a little levity to the situation:
I saw a meme recently that said, “If I ever liked you, please work on yourself.” I definitely relate to that and your statement about choices in men
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Oh I love that!
It's okay. Choose better next time, think about it first.
Mssg me anytime
Show yourself some grace love. It’s hard but you will heal from this and come out much stronger. I was with my ex husband for 17 years and towards the end had some traumatic health issues when my ex showed he too was only capable of loving himself. I was completely devastated as my world was flipped upside down (which lead to my drinking). It was a hard lesson to learn not seeing the signs sooner and protecting my peace but I am happy and healthy now. Hugs
You know, I used to tell my Call nine sponsee a great line and I used to say to them. When you meet a man and you walk up to him and your heart is banging in your chest and you're like yeah, this is the guy I used to say to them. No, that's actually a warning sign saying run the f****** other way. We addicts and alcoholics are so confused about those signs.Run the other way next time. Love.\nTakes time, it moves slowly.You build it and each moment of trust so that excitement , and that banging hard when you first meet somebody , no , no , that's a warning run , run , run hanging in there
Just st stay away from dating anyone for a minute. Take a break. Take it easy