I am struggling. I have every disorder in the book it seems. I know the first step is to admit that you are an addict. However, I was functioning very well for almost 3 years on Clonopin and Adderall… I am aware that there are non-addictive drugs to help me with these issues but if it was working, why should I stop? I used to have a problem with alcohol but I was able to stop. I am starting a new job and the anxiety has been debilitating even on antidepressants and mood stabilizers what should I do
7 Likes
Prescription drugs are okay if used correctly or do you abuse or overuse them?
Do you have active counseling for stress and depression?
You did take the first step in recognizing..and the second in wanting to change. Realize you need help from a good support system to meet these challenges.
1 Like
Thank you for your response David. Sometimes I would take more than prescribed however what I struggle with is the fact that I’ve functioned very well on them. I had a great relationship with friends family and my career. But now I question whether or not I was actually happy with myself. I am seeing a New psychiatrist tomorrow. I have been reading every self-help book that I can. When I went to rehab for alcohol I felt like an outcast because I was a high functioning alcoholic and I felt like my problems were not as intense as other people have gone through. I am a social worker and feel ashamed that I am so messed up I feel like a fraud.
One of the things rehab brought me was a change of perspective. Loss of control of desire and/or abuse of a substance comes down to usually using it to cope with something you can't handle without it. Never feel bad for being able to help others and don't feel hypocritical at all - it is much easier to handle someone else's issues when you aren't emotionally invested like you end up being when things involve you.
Commit to your process and be patient and it sounds like you are taking the right steps. The process of getting to know you takes time and maybe some of those internal explorations is exactly what you need.
1 Like
I guess my question is, if the drugs I were taking were helping me… How should I function without them if I was diagnosed with certain disorders if that makes sense?
For either of those you should absolutely talk to your prescriber about tapering off so you don't suffer withdrawal symptoms and do so in a healthy way
Thank you you’re right really appreciate the support
1 Like
Honestly I used to feel the same about my addiction. I always went to work and performed my job at the highest level…No pun intended 
However that was only because the true scale of the negative factors hadn’t arisen or begin to take effect yet. As more time went on, months to years and my addiction grew to needing more then more is when my perception of functioning addict fell apart. If I couldn’t get then I’d feel like shit so I started missing those days at work. Before I knew it my full time job was to support my habit so I could show up and perform my full time job so I could get high…. Round and round 
:dizzy:. Finally I had to take that long hard look at myself and admit that I was an addict, my problem was full blown and I needed help because I truly was powerless to stop it on my own. I hope that if you’re anything here it’s the early stages and you can stop and fix it with your new therapist. Some of us do have addictive personalities and that means we almost can’t be on anything that lights up our pleasure and fun time receptors 
I know boooooring but it’s just too tempting for us
2 Likes
I know that one all too well. I’ve always been able to help others way more than I could ever help myself. Then I realized I needed help, sought it out and checked myself into rehab. Now I feel like I can finally help myself and not have to distract myself and ignore myself by helping others. I’ll be back for them though when I’m done with me
1 Like
Thanks Mike, I appreciate you sharing. So with the prescriptions I was taking, I never felt like I needed to take more and more as time progressed. But when I was on Adderall, I really excelled with executive functioning. I had a routine, I was organized, I would do yoga every night, I never procrastinated, And I loved my job. I would take Clonopin at night to help me sleep and come down the adderall. I didn’t take it to feel high honestly. However, ever since my doctor switched me to a mood stabilizer I believe it negates the effects of Adderall therefore, I don’t feel anything anymore. I was missing deadlines, became unorganized, and no energy. And on top of that my doctor thinks I have narcolepsy. One of the main treatments for that is a stimulant. Does it sound like I’m just making excuses for my addiction? Or does it make sense to have been on the same regimen I was on?
1 Like
Do you journal? I find writing down my thoughts, fears, and worries helps to turn down their volume in my mind.
1 Like
Hey Tom I have been starting to journal recently thanks to all the self-help books that tell me I should ha ha and yes it does help to get it out and feels good temporarily but I find myself circling back to all the negatives
Thank you so much for sharing Joseph, i’m curious to know how you feel about drugs that are prescribed for depression, ADHD, and bipolar as I have all three. My motive for taking all the meds that I do is to fix the chemical imbalance in my brain so that I can lead a healthy stable life. Does that make sense? I know there are options that don’t involve drugs however in doing my research, certain disorders require medication plus therapy so I feel like there is not much of a choice?
I feel like I can relate, I have addictive tendencies and struggle everyday. I find spending time with my pup, working out, going for long walks, anything physical to exhaust the mind and body. You have to stay active and busy to prevent those thoughts. Hope this helps.
1 Like
Thanks appreciate the advice!
Thanks Leo I am trying everything to distract my mind but I have a hard time shutting off the ruminating thoughts even when I do leisure activities it’s very strange but I suppose it comes with practice
Hello Kim, do you go to meetings? AA or NA? Have you read the AA big book? I recommend at least reading the first 164 pages of the big book. It explains how powerful, baffling and cunning our disease is. It also explain what we can do about it. Then it goes on to tell us how other people have recovered.
For me the message is simple, we admit we are powerless over our addiction. Then we look inward at our moral inventory, write it down. Then we tell ourselves, God and a person we trust our defects of character. Become will to make amends to everyone or thing we hurt.
Made amends to them all where possible. Take a daily inventory.
Help others who are willing and want what we now have.
When this is complete all of our addiction/obsessions simply fade away. We must believe that this works. And continue to put God first, help others, then take inventory of ourselves so that we don’t slip back into our old ways.
An attitude of gratitude
Journaling is another big help
Getting a sponsor
I hope you’re sobriety gets better fir you. Remember being open minded about new ideas can help with the next phase of our sobriety. As we grow in this so does our beliefs and tools we can use to help combat our disease that only seems to get stronger the more we beat it.
God is love. Have a wonderful day filled with love and peace within.
2 Likes
Thanks Kevin for your informative response it means a lot. To answer your question I went to several meetings while I was in treatment for alcohol about six years ago. I never followed through all the steps and I only read about half the book. I was able to stop drinking on my own a couple years ago but maybe it’s time to give it another shot
1 Like
The meetings I mean lmao
You’re welcome Kim, grateful to be of service. Glad to hear you’re open to giving it a try again. This is my first time in AA but my third attempt at sobriety. The first time I did it on my own for about three years and then, like the big stories say, I thought I could drink like a gentleman since I had all that sobriety time. Well that didn’t work, lol. Second time I went to treatment for meth addiction but didn’t tell the doctors I was on drugs so they treated me for being psychotic. And i did stop using meth but continued to drink. Then I relapsed on meth again and tried to kill myself when I could no longer manage my life. So this time I said that I better jump in with both feet and figure out how to stay sober and be happy despite a divorce and kicked out of my house, and all the wreckage I created… 
however today I’m a grateful recovering addict who loves life and God.
I’m here if you need support.
Enjoy your evening